Hello everybody,
I need help with my application essays...here is what i got so far..
I have been a die-hard fan of Economics right after I received the first lecture on it from eight grade. My overwhelming passion in Economics leads me through thorough research on the best universities pursuing this subject outstandingly, and Brown appealed to me the most. I discovered that this prestigious university not only lets me express my own opinions but also creates a path for me through which I can develop successful analytical and leadership skills advancing me a step closer to my dream of becoming an economist at her fullest potential. Brown's collaborative curriculum, its incredibly intellectual faculty with the addition of being blessed by sessions of international speakers, all combines to the perfect fit of my ideal university. As a student since my school days I desperately wanted to mark a difference in this world, so I committed with utmost sincerity to the subject Economics, thus achieving world's highest marks in both my O'level and AS level Economics papers. I further continued to bring life (practicality) in theoretical analysis of complex theories and sharpened my maths skills in that process. Without a doubt,the unique Brown University will provide me the paramount support to explore my powers in economics and mathematics.
You should go into more detail on how you became interested in economics, and how you developed a passion for it. Also mention how economics will help you make a difference in the world.
I agree with Phoenix70..
you say that your so committied to economics, and thats good, but like phoenix70 said, it is important to say how you will make a difference in the world.
dannyfwk
Thanks for the comments, I'l keep it in mind and work on it but here's another Brown supplement i am fighting with...really need help with this...
thanks agn
My own rough draft
I was an absolute half and half of what to do in my life up until high school. My dream of becoming a dancer and an economist was in conflict. It all began back in 6th Grade when I was a 120 pound overweight child and my mother and father was afraid of childhood obesity. That was the time I decided that I had enough of insults and with sheer determination and uncontrollable rage I danced for hours and hours each day. Meanwhile I was also becoming fascinated towards the subject economics, I figured out that I had a unique sense of understanding the subject which other people did not have and I felt that this blessing was in fact true when my teacher saw it in me as well. It was not felt in the term assigned papers and memorized theories written in the papers to pass, instead in my exceptional viewpoints in certain economics theory which was quickly developed by my commitment in all kinds of Economics related books. I had this daily routine of watching dance videos for hours and implementing them in my body combined with scrutinizing every detail of a new economics book I buy.
To take both my passions up to a second notch, I decided to join Alliance Françoise salsa and contemporary classes for my dancing, and, I naturally took Economics as one of my three subjects in A' levels. But something was going terribly wrong, I realized that if my calculations of giving attention to one of my passion become more I lose a lot out on the other. For instance when I had to sit for my AS level Economics paper I couldn't practice dancing for days, I realized that dancing was like the fire that was buried deep within me, and I felt freedom while performing it. Although I did earn highest marks in the world on my Economics AS level paper, I was not as happy as one is supposed to be. It was like I felt guilty for missing out on dancing so much. So I devised a project through which I implemented my math's skills to obtain perfection and read countless books for it in that process. Somehow I was tormented to choose, it was two parts of me, both equally loved but I have to pick a lane now, both cannot coexist together if I need absolute flawlessness in one. This is the time when I saw the movie called "Ice Princess", for this girl physics was her life at first and then she found her true dream in ice-skating and said no to Harvard. I thought to myself for days, which gave me more pleasure?? and, then the unexpected happened: I saw a dream where I had to fill in the shoes of John Maynard Keynes, the famous economist from England, whose books I had read so much about. His ideas on the causes of unemployment revolutionalized macroeconomic theory and profoundly altered government's involvement in the economy. I realized that through studying this subject thoroughly I can bring a change in this world, I can help people. Where dance helps me to come out of my box, economics will help people to come out of theirs. This is what I wanted to do, this is my dream.
Even though I will continue dancing through the rest of my life, I am sure I will never regret being an economist, the opportunity cost is not that hard to bear when I know that I can make a difference to this world, be it slight but it will bring me immense joy.
coexist together
This iswas the time when I saw the movie called "Ice Princess",.
And for this sentence, I think it would be better if you don't put "This was the time" because this will be too much a coincidence. By the way I also loved this movie.
His ideas on the causes of unemployment revolutionalized macroeconomic theory and profoundly altered
Overall, I liked your essay. It's neat and quite riveting.
ruzhang143
Thanks for the comments, i needed to hear it was capable of sending :)
I have been a die-hard fan of Economics right after I received the first lecture on it from eight grade.
you could write more details about this lecture, how did it make you fall in love with eco?
through thorough research
this is grammatically right, but sounds a little awkward, maybe?
I discovered that this prestigious university not only lets me express my own opinions but also creates a path for me through which I can develop successful analytical and leadership skills advancing me a step closer to my dream of becoming an economist at her fullest potential.
maybe this sentence is wayyyyy too long? i cant breath, better cut it short
Over all, it is a strong essay. Strong words, strong structure.
Good Luck.^__^
btw, how to quote??
Two ideas:
I have been a die-hard enthusiast about Economics ever since I received the first lecture on it from eight grade.
That was the time I decided that I had had enough of insults, so, with sheer determination and uncontrollable rage, I danced for hours and several hours each day.