A bucky badger
Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided please describe your areas of possible academic interest. (you may enter up to 650 words).
I am a bucky badger: born in October, fierce, determined and persistent. Throughout my childhood, I "experienced" many obstacles, ranging from birth defects to family bankrupts, all of which made me even stronger and more persistent in studying hard and achieving knowledge not only from school but also from the surroundings. I always do my best to complete a task, regardless of its importance. My friends call it fastidious but I prefer calling it conscientious. I had witnessed my family and relatives drowning in debt due to lack of skills in managing personal expenditure and relying on only one source of income. At that time, they didn't have enough money. Since then, I have determined to pursue a career path of business, especially in finance. For finance is about managing currency flow: investing, risking, forecasting, I believe I will use finance in general and what I learn at School of Business at University of Wisconsin Madison to help my relatives and others in need having a better management of their incomes and uplift many lives through forms such as insurance and consulting. Additionally, every industry from pharmaceutical field to military forces needs a financialist to set a right direction for a company to invest in. Those reasons above make me really passionate about finance.
I believe that University of Wisconsin Madison would give me the greatest abilities to uplift people in my community. Firstly, I chose University of Wisconsin Madison for its location. Its location is very peaceful with the river bank. Although it is not chaotic as many other universities located in the center, I still manage to find big-city opportunities, as mentioned " this is where big-city opportunities meet small-town conveniences". As a person who loves a peaceful life but still having chances for development, University of Wisconsin Madison seems to be a perfect choice. Secondly, with its deep involvement with companies in general through The Office of Business Management or with companies in the finance field through the Women in Finance and Accounting organization, University of Wisconsin Madison hooks me up. Thirdly, the curriculum also brings me benefits. The ability to learn humanities, literature, social science, as well as communication will help me effectively exchange ideas with a broader background. It definitely allows me to become an outstanding financialist. Moreover, First-year Interest Groups (FIGs) in first-year are a plus point. As changing into an environment that totally differs from high school, international students like I may have a difficult time to fit in. The FIGs might help the problem out since it provides class 20 or fewer students, meaning that I will have more time and connections within friends in FIGs and that we could help each other and make our first semester easier. Additionally, the interdisciplinary contents that FIGs provides will help me learn in a more holistic and interesting way throughout 4 years at University of Wisconsin Madison ( if I would be accepted). For all of the reasons above, besides statistical reasons, I believe that University of Wisconsin Madison is definitely my right decision.
It takes more than just hard work to become an excellent financialist or and a financial consultant, but with an outstanding education and opportunities University of Wisconsin Madison, along with my academic qualities and personal strength, it can be totally achieved. To be honest, it is ridiculous to expect to be a master in this field within 4 years, but I will try my best to study and to be relentlessly curious, by learning hard both inside and outside the classrooms, both by professors and by colleagues, and never stop self-learning.
(Word count : 599)
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,662 4753
Here is the thing, the essay is devoid of true passion in the sense that there is no evidence that the applicant has pursued early foundations in financial planning and management. Simply seeing the bankruptcy of the family and its members cannot represent a passion. Otherwise every child that did not get a good allowance from his parents would pursue a career in finance. There is no clear relationship between the interests and pursuits of the applicant with the course offerings of the university. The basis of the application consideration will first and foremost, be related to the way that the student has pursued his passion in relation to the course offerings and learning potential at the university.
The response shows that the student has well researched the university offerings and the cookie cutter responses given by others to the same prompt. That does not create a stand out explanation since these are only secondary considerations for the reviewer. He needs to read about how the applicant will grow further as a student at the university based on his previous experiences. The job of the university is to help the student achieve his full potential seeing how he has already started himself down the financial path he hopes to pursue in the future. Since the applicant did not even have a lemonade stand in his youth during the summer, I do not see any true financial studies potential in him/her.