Business field / Better Place / Improve Education - Application short response answer

Hello,
I am a high school student applying to summer program I look forward to attending. The application asks me to answer a series of short response questions, which I'm not the best at. I know it's a bit cheesy. Please edit and give suggestions!

Thank you.

1) Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? Briefly describe your career goals. Include a short discussion of your career planning.
During the my college years, I wish to gain experience in the business field working with PeaceCorps and studying abroad. Shortly after successfully graduating from undergraduate school with a degree in ....

3) If you were given the authority to improve the educational system, what specific changes would you make and why would you make them?
Day after day, I have sat in the cafeteria of my high school watching students devour unhealthy food (usually hamburgers and french-fries) served to them by school aides. Childhood obesity is growing epidemic in America. It may lead to heart disease and other life threatening sicknesses. I believe the first step in solving this issue is not by offering more physical education courses but by serving organic, healthy food in the cafeteria. This first step may save a generation of suffering lives.

While I like and applaud what you have written I think the question leans more toward education. Maybe a mandatory class in types of foods and organics, and how certain types of food that is consumed is not healthy. Once again Home Economics was taken out of the schools years ago. Part of that class was to teach children how to cook and make healthy choices.

Hope it helps

I would heartily agree with this post. Educating students on alternative nutrition and ways to enjoy food substituting the rubbish food for alternatives that trick the brain into thinking it's getting what it's always eaten, otherwise adding small amounts of ground almonds or sunflower seeds to flour to add fatty acids and minerals. Maybe adding some tahini to peanut butter in tiny amounts to get sesame seeds in the diet that is digestible.

For number one... you did not really say anything! I mean, there is no story, no meaning. Can you share a possible story that might unfold? Can you think of details, like what kind of business you might try? You do not need to spend a whole sentence telling them you'll go on to seek an advanced degree; use every sentence wisely, powerfully.

working with "green" companies to help market more energy efficient products.----this is good, but I think you can go into greater detail! I think you can even read some relevant articles and get very specific about ideas for making a difference.

I like the approach you took for that third question!

Career goals - Short response question answer on an application

Hello,
I'm applying to a program I'm really interested in taking part in. The only thing is...I'm not the best at answering short question responses. Please choose the my best answer...give feedback...and correct any grammatical errors.

Thank you!

Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years. Briefly Describe you Career Goals and how you aim to accomplish your goals.

ans 1: I'd like to say that I am undoubtedly prepared to take on the challenging issues present in the business world. However, I am not (not yet at least). In order to be prepared I must gain experience. During my years at college, I hope to step out of my comfort zone and take risks. I will always hope to succeed, but the true lessons will always be learned from the challenges I failed at. Upon graduation, I would like to use my valuable experiences to hold a successful career I enjoy.

ans2: During my college years, I hope to challenge my knowledge in the business field by interning at high ranked companies. Through these internships I will gain real insider knowledge about the business field and mature into the confident individual I know I can be. Upon graduation, I shall test my knowledge by holding a career I enjoy and love. My expectations for the future will not come easy but I am determined to work hard to accomplish my goals.

note that just because i put ans 1 first does not mean i like it more than ans 2. or vise versa.