Business Knowledge; USC Supplement/ Academic interests

Any feedback is welcome and NEEDED. Thanks!

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections.

Since young I enjoy spending my spare time on my wide range of interests and hobbies. As I grow up, I tried to incorporate some business flare into these hobbies of mine, such as sharing my fascination for education under the education brand UrbanEDU, extending my taste in fashion through my very own clothing brand Jeez., or even further my interest in film by directing and editing mini-films myself. Business and technology happen to dominate my academic interests, for I would tirelessly work on my websites and online stores for endless nights for leisure. Marshall is a perfect match for me in that its business administration program not only can equip me with business basics that help me to run a business, but also encapsulates an eclectic collection of elective units that may provide me flexibility in my future career. The ability to choose more than one minor in addition to my BA major at USC is what I look forward to in my future 4 years of undergraduate study, where I am able to fully explore and find out my true passion, such as fusing my technological expertise with business knowledge to generate bigger ideas that could benefit the local community in a revolutionary manner.

notes and advice:
-the first sentence is kind of obvious, almost everyone spends their free time on interests of hobbies, come up with a more catchy first sentence

-"sharing my fascination for education under the education brand UrbanEDU" elaborate more or explain, it sounds confusing...maybe thats just me though
-i would say the examples you gave for business flare sounds more like artistic flare to me, when you talk about website and online stores it makes more sence, I would change your examples to align with business better

-maybe talk about what minor your interested in?

You can change for an another open sentence and this one is not necessary for your following description about business flare in "your many hobbies".

And the examples of business flare are not so convincing, in my opinion.
Good luck:)