During the summer of grade 11, I found out I had to take the SAT exam to apply to universities in the United States of American and I was scared. All I knew about the SAT was that my friends who were in the American education system were terrified of it and only very few got scores above 1700, yet, the average for the universities I am applying to was over 2000. I started working as hard as I can. Two thirds of the exam was English. English wasn't only my second language; it was also the lowest grade I got in my GCSEs. Even with a B in GCSE English, my vocabulary wasn't that good. I spent a lot of hours studying for the SAT and tried as hard as I could to improve my vocabulary.
During the test, I was a bit nervous after skipping a lot of questions in my 3rd section (reading). The 4th section was Math, and I finished it in half the time required. After checking my results, I started thinking about how I did on the 3rd section. I looked around me to see how everyone was doing, only to find people where shuffling pages to previous sections and answering questions. The examiner didn't seem to notice it and half of the people in the exam room were doing it. During the Break, the moderator left the room, and everyone was cheating from each other. One of the students even went on to open the exam and answer questions. As I thought of how I did on the 3rd section, and how I could improve myself, especially as one of the people who was saying their answers got over 700 in her reading and writing. I decided to leave the room and focus on how I did. I realized that not only would it be wrong to cheat, it would also prevent me from enjoying my results. When I found out I got 1900 in my SAT exam, I was happy I achieved that result and proud that I achieved it honestly.
I dont like the ending and i am also 500 characters over the limit (around 100 words). Any ideas on how to improve it ??
Hello!
First of all, it should be "United States of America" in the first sentence.
Also, in the sentence "I started working as hard as I can", it should be 'as hard as I could' so the tenses agree.
Also, get rid of the "as" in "As I thought of how I did on the 3rd section, and how I could improve myself, especially as one of the people who was saying their answers got over 700 in her reading and writing."
Also, it sounds rather unclear. After "myself," you should consider ending the sentence. Then say how it was especially difficult not to cheat as one of the people started reading their answers. This will make what you are trying to say much easier to understand.
As to making it shorter; is there any way you could combine some sentences? Your first paragraph was kind of an intro to your main point. In an essay that has to be so short, you may not have room for an intro.
It's a good story, though. Good for you!
