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"I came back from an exchange program to USA, Thailand" - MIT, Significant challenge



Planet_14 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
I extended the word limit, but I think that might not be a big deal? I'm not quite sure whether I answer the prompt good enough. So, please give me any comments if you think I should fix it a little more. Please, help me with the grammar and structure too!

Thank you in advance.

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

After, I came back from an exchange program to USA. I want to work as a tutor, in Thailand almost everyone goes to tutoring school. So, I can keep up with my English. I started it out by putting ads on the internet. I had couple cases that called me and arranged the place that we could meet, but at the end, my customers had never showed up. It could be because they think that internet is unreliable. Therefore, I changed my strategy. I put paper ads on, with my profile and mobile number, and I told my teachers that I want to a tutor and I am looking for students, it would be great if they could help me. This did not work again. I thought that it might be because no one notices my ad; even know it was such a big colorful sign, also most of the teachers already teach a special class for themselves as well. Until that moment, I have been spending three months with two methods just to find 'a' customer. 'Don't give up' that was the word I told myself. This time I analyze all the things I have been failed to see in order to gain students. I have failed to capture anyone attention and to make them feel that I am real and reliable. This time I open an English club to teach any students for free. Then, I advertise myself. It worked this time! At this very moment I teach about ten students each day, I gain almost $100 a day. Moreover, my students always pay me respect when we walk by each other.

tiffany17 1 / 7  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
Thanks for your input on mine.

After,delete the comma I came back from an exchange program to USA.<<doesnt make sense.reworde I want to work as a tutor, in Thailand almost everyone goes to tutoring school. So, I can keep up with my English. I started it out by putting ads on the internet. I had a couple of cases that called me and arranged the place that we could meet, but at the end, my customers had never showed up.

this has many grammatical errors, i only fixed a few. If you the fixed the errors, it would make more sense.


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