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Carleton short answers - literature teacher, biology, books.


poisonivy 14 / 102  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
This is my work on Carleton Supplement- short answers. The character limit has been deadly, so please tell me whether my few sentences are focused enough or too general? Also grammar corrections would always be useful.

Thank you for your help and looking forward to help you back, if you need :)

- Name the secondary school teacher who has most influenced you and briefly explain why. (200)
NAME (Literature)
Mrs X fostered me with an amazing passion. She drove me into deeper layers; she helped me open new doors to my horizon and inspired me to fully emerge in the beauty of Arts.

- What subjects most interest you and why? (Note: This is not a commitment to major in this area.) Characters available 400
Nature and life perfection have always been objects of observation and amazement to me. In Biology, my imagination found freedom and my innate curiosity led me into infinite series of "why"s, which I couldn't always answer. Yet, this has not held me back, on the contrary, it has motivated me to go the deepest I can, maybe to the depths of life where people haven't arrived yet. I have thirst for knowledge.

- Do you have a tentative (or firm) career plan (or dream)? Please describe it. (400)
My everlasting attraction to Biology makes me consider Neuroscience a great possibility for my future. Neuroscience is compatible with my passions, since it blends both humanity and science, both brains and emotions. In a field as Neuroscience, where many potentially life-revolutionizing questions are still unanswered, I am thrilled by the possibility to discover and to make a change.

- Why are you interested in Carleton College and how did this interest develop? (300)

Carleton amazes me with the freedom it radiates. I don't want to simply learn, I want to experience. I want to explore. I want to share my unusual ideas with unique, diverse people. I want to stroll down the Carleton Arb and lay down in the green of the Lyman Lakes, admiring the nature. As Carletonians say "I want to embrace life fully".

- From your reading, whether children's books or classics, what books or authors have particularly impressed you and why? (500)

The place of honor in my bookshelf and in my art-loving heart belongs to Remarque. As I walk through his lines, I feel the innermost importance that humanity has in shaping a person. I love the sensitivity, passion, and philosophies of life of his characters. They all live under the pressure of war and in this atmosphere of anxiety, insecurity, impotence to change the present and to predict the future, they taught me that the only way to live is by loving and being loved.
letsgetfroyo 2 / 4  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
She drove me into deeper layers

I don't understand this...maybe she pushed you?

My everlasting attraction to Biology

This is awkward

Carleton amazes me with the freedom it radiates

How does the college radiate freedom?

I like what you have said! Just explain more actions than abstract ideas. You don't explain the 'how' for the most part.
OP poisonivy 14 / 102  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
@ letsgetfroyo:
Thank you for your input. :)
1- Yes, with drove I meant push. Does push convey the meaning more? (sorry im international :S)
2- I guess I could replace everlasting with immutable?
3- Could I say "Carleton amazes me with its inherent freedom?"?
mjellma 6 / 26  
Dec 28, 2009   #4
Nature and life perfection have always been objects of observation and amazement to me. In Biology, my imagination found freedom and my innate curiosity led me into infinite series of "why"s, which I couldn't always answer. Yet, this has not held me back, on the contrary, it has motivated me to go the deepest I can , maybe to the depths of life where people haven't arrived yet. I have thirst for knowledge.

this sounds off, try : it has motivated me to broaden my limits, to reach for depths which have not yet been discovered.

As for the other responses, they are pretty good.

ONE thing though:
I want to stroll down the Carleton Arb and lay down in the green of the Lyman Lakes, admiring the nature ---- I know you're probably trying to show that you have thought about Carleton and know things related to it, but this sentence is just vague. Try to put some purpose in i, try to write why you want to stroll down ..., and lay down at... .

It's just my opinion, anyway.
ohellothere - / 8  
Dec 28, 2009   #5
You're answers are definitely on the right track.

The one about a favorite teacher you list a lot of things she does but you don't really mention how she does them. This makes it sort of unclear to me at least. I know it has a very tight character limit, but I would definitely rework this answer.

Also, I have gotten comments on my own post about contractions being inappropriate for formal writing. So, if it doesn't push you over the character limit, make "couldn't" in your second answer: could not. A little fix :)

Best of luck!


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