Thank you for any one helping me out, I just recently discovered this website. I tend to lose focus on my essays so please help me clarify wherever possible. Oh, my essay way seem to have less content towards the end because when I was writing it, it was hitting 3 a.m.
PROMPT: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen CMU and your particular major, department, or program. This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major, any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to.
I once read somewhere Carnegie Mellon University is not where you go to find yourself, but where you go to create yourself; a quotation surely inspired from playwright George Bernard Shaw's classic view on life. For someone who spends her days deciphering whether, alphabetically, last name affects personality or if neuro-linguistic programming will some day have credibility in the scientific community, I am not lost. At the youthful, yet distinguished age of eighteen, I know who I want to be and I thoroughly believe being a Cognitive Science major at Carnegie Mellon University will assist and provide me with the utmost support.
I had my first textbook-free experience with developmental psychology at the age of fifteen. I spent weeks in a program called Memory Bridge at my high school learning about the true disposition of Alzheimer's disease. I also spent several evenings at the Warren Barr Pavilion Nursing Home with an Alzheimer's sufferer, in order to achieve a personal understanding of the illness. As a group we were discovering the effects of Alzheimer's without tests, without expectations, and without unfairness. The people we met did not necessitate another exam, they needed a companion to speak with and aid them in remembering the past. This was not the epiphany moment that would forever preordain my life in psychology, this was a supplement to the budding inspiration already brewing.
Is fulfillment not what we as humans all seek? Fulfillment, for me, is the ambiguous concept of knowledge and how it can be used to transfigure the world. I have taken AP Psychology; I have taken a seminar course on philosophy; I have even spent years experimenting in the fine arts of drawing and painting. Hula dancing? Photography? Fashion construction? I have challenged them all for twenty weeks to a year at a time. Success is not a component because it cannot be measured; it is what one does with the newfound knowledge acquired afterwards. I plan, in my lifetime,to utilize the comprehension I have gained about certain aspects of humanity to reform the concept of cognitive science, specifically neuropsychology.
Cognitive Science is an accumulation of several other subjects from neuroscience to philosophy to linguistics. The ideas that result from studying it are the ones that revolutionize the world. This concept of information interpretation and representation in the mind that is cognitive science is recognized by psychologists and artists alike. Karl Jung defined life: "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being." Andrew Warhola (or more commonly referred to as Andy Warhol), although not a psychologist but a Carnegie Mellon graduate nonetheless, had a related thought: "People need to be more aware of the need to work at learning how to life because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly." I hope to one day be a part of the team that destroys the precincts that separate diverse thinkers.
As Mr. Maslow so kindly put it, "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself." I can see myself finding peace one way: at Carnegie Mellon University, within the College of Humanities and Social Sciences, going right past the Psychology Department, resting right next to the Cognitive Science major, would ideally be a name, Katarzyna Ziecik, and it would be one not to forget.
In your third paragraph, are you talking about how you're interested in neuropsychology because it differs from all the other subjects you listed? I wasn't sure.
Overall i thought it was a very well-written essay--good job!
I tried looking for mistakes, but i couldn't really find any except for the third paragraph i mentioned above.
I liked all your quotations, and the ending was very sweet.
I see what you mean by talking about an extracurricular! Your example really worked to your advantage
quotation surely inspired by playwright George Bernard Shaw's classic view on life.
About NLP... that was created by students of Milton Erickson, whose writings are going to be very interesting for you. I hope you get to read about how he responded to criticism from the scientific community. He was a hero, for sure.
I'm so sorry I didn't get to comment on this before the deadline! A lot of people posted essays all at once at the last minute...