'would not change anything' - upbringing, community and/or activities

Topic: How have your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are. Your future goals and your choice of major? If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.

Eassy:

If I was to go back to my past, I would not change anything. Undermining the condition it took for me to become the kind of person I am today. My past has been far from perfect, but those thing was what has made me the person I am today. If I should start to explain the story of my life, on till today. It would make people see how far my life has come. One of the hardest things I had to face was not having my parent there to raise me. However that condition also gave me a lot of to spend with my grandmother who brought me up. My grandmother managed to raise a lot of her grandkids, and go to work mostly at the same time. She did her best to make sure we all had what we needed. When I move from Nigeria to Unintended State of America, A lot of thing change for me and I started to live with my parent in the U.S. they gave me a good role model to look up to. Even when I get into trouble. This thought me how to become responsible for myself and others. That might not be the easiest thing to do, but it made me grow up and become more responsible. Watching myself go through life, almost everything has become a struggle. That thought me that hard work pays do pay off at the end. That has really increased my taste of education.

I have also learned one or two things from my parent and it has made me have a great taste for math. Math has always been my favorite subject. That while I want to major in accounting, because I feel that is where my call is at and focus.

First off, you say the person I am today twice within two sentences, I would change this.
Besides, it looks good but maybe a bit too short; you're talking about your life and next thing we know you want to major in accounting. Try to find details about your experience that could make your short answer more vibrant !

Good luck !

yea besides the person i am today comment it looks like a great personal statement, add some lentgh and a bit more detail and youre solid