As I walk into my dance studio it is always an honor to be greeted by the most prestigious dancer I know. Although she hasn't danced for highly recognized dance companies, such as Joffrey Ballet or American Ballet Theatre, her confidence and her ambition to create esteemed dancers led me to re-evaluate the way I think and feel about dance.
^Remove.
whether it requires her to be tough orteach as if she were a good friend.
finished out the dance year with intentions of never going back, seeing all these younger dancers going to my dream school ended up being very hard to endure.
^Revise
Its not a terrible essay by any means, but you do make several phrasing and grammar errors that are in need of revision.
Content-wise, it seems alright, but to reiterate, you do make careless mistakes here and there