once again im back=]]
please tell me if this even makes sense to the topic. and if i should get rid of any of the paragraphs. THANK YOU AGAIN!
this is my UF essay i feel that it is an extremely baby formatted essay ? do you feel the same way?
p.s i got in UCF thank you for all your help!
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
A Cheerleader - known as a snobby girl who is usually self-centered and typically not intelligent.
As a cheerleader I can defend the overuse cliché of what being a cheerleader really is. A cheerleader is someone who is determined to succeed, someone who is school spirited, and someone who is underestimated in almost anything they do.
Cheerleading is the sport I love and the sport that has driven me to be successful in life. I have proven the expectations of many wrong. I am currently the Vice President of Student council to one of the best comprehensive high schools in Florida, I have lead over 250 teenage volunteers to helping find a cure for breast cancer, and I am ranked in the 20th percentile of my senior class, and I am a cheerleader!
Over the past eight years I have spent 5 days a week in a gym that most would consider a "joke". However, the constant reprimands and high expectations from coaches and team members has taught me how deal with failure. My coaches have made it clear to me that if one is determined, one will succeed. These last eight years have all been pivotal moments in my life and have helped me mature greatly.
My will to succeed was tested in my junior year. During a practice I landed wrong and ended up in the hospital with a torn ACL. The morning of my surgery a lady in a Dr. Seuss nurse scrub came to my bed and introduced herself as an anesthesiologist. This in reality meant nothing to me. She began asking me questions such as what I was allergic to and if I had ever had surgery before. I soon became fascinated. I began asking her questions instead of answering the ones she was asking me. I learned that being an anesthesiologist was someone who anesthetizes a person prior to surgery, in order to reduce the pain. From the moment this woman began to talk I felt a sense of passion of what I soon wanted to become.
After 6 months of daily physical therapy and after proving to myself and to my team members that I had more strength than I did prior to my injury, I brought more unity to our team. Our perseverance pushed us to become the best we could be as a whole. This sense of friendship lead us to be ranked 8th in the nation. Growing up as a cheerleader I know I can accomplish anything I aspire to do; the scars on my knee are constant reminders of my determination to succeed, determination that can only contribute to my future and to the University Of Florida.
A Cheerleader- one who never gives up no matter how near or far the end may seem, one who is not afraid, and one who pursues what they believe in, the one who will succeed.
please tell me if this even makes sense to the topic. and if i should get rid of any of the paragraphs. THANK YOU AGAIN!
this is my UF essay i feel that it is an extremely baby formatted essay ? do you feel the same way?
p.s i got in UCF thank you for all your help!
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities, or your involvement in areas outside of school.
A Cheerleader - known as a snobby girl who is usually self-centered and typically not intelligent.
As a cheerleader I can defend the overuse cliché of what being a cheerleader really is. A cheerleader is someone who is determined to succeed, someone who is school spirited, and someone who is underestimated in almost anything they do.
Cheerleading is the sport I love and the sport that has driven me to be successful in life. I have proven the expectations of many wrong. I am currently the Vice President of Student council to one of the best comprehensive high schools in Florida, I have lead over 250 teenage volunteers to helping find a cure for breast cancer, and I am ranked in the 20th percentile of my senior class, and I am a cheerleader!
Over the past eight years I have spent 5 days a week in a gym that most would consider a "joke". However, the constant reprimands and high expectations from coaches and team members has taught me how deal with failure. My coaches have made it clear to me that if one is determined, one will succeed. These last eight years have all been pivotal moments in my life and have helped me mature greatly.
My will to succeed was tested in my junior year. During a practice I landed wrong and ended up in the hospital with a torn ACL. The morning of my surgery a lady in a Dr. Seuss nurse scrub came to my bed and introduced herself as an anesthesiologist. This in reality meant nothing to me. She began asking me questions such as what I was allergic to and if I had ever had surgery before. I soon became fascinated. I began asking her questions instead of answering the ones she was asking me. I learned that being an anesthesiologist was someone who anesthetizes a person prior to surgery, in order to reduce the pain. From the moment this woman began to talk I felt a sense of passion of what I soon wanted to become.
After 6 months of daily physical therapy and after proving to myself and to my team members that I had more strength than I did prior to my injury, I brought more unity to our team. Our perseverance pushed us to become the best we could be as a whole. This sense of friendship lead us to be ranked 8th in the nation. Growing up as a cheerleader I know I can accomplish anything I aspire to do; the scars on my knee are constant reminders of my determination to succeed, determination that can only contribute to my future and to the University Of Florida.
A Cheerleader- one who never gives up no matter how near or far the end may seem, one who is not afraid, and one who pursues what they believe in, the one who will succeed.