As a child, I used to be fascinated by remote control cars; what appeals to you at MIT?

Prompt: Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words)

My Response:
As a child, I used to be fascinated by remote control cars. My curiosity often victimized their not-so-intricate mechanical structures: I dissembled them, most times permanently. MIT Changing Places Research Group elevated "dissemble" to a new level. It dissembled conventional cars and reconstructed cityCars to meet the demand of densely populated cities. Yet MIT did not settle: it equipped cityCars with AEVITA, which includes autonomous driving to cityCars' functionality. Even though AEVITA might sentence the demise of remote control cars by removing the necessity to "control" them, I would love to work with Changing Places Research Group and makes this happen.

Any suggestions? I am kind of panicking as deadline approaches.

Yet, MIT did not
and makes this happen.

Firsly, don't panic. Everything would go on great + I know exactly how you feel :)
Besides, the respond is good and convincing. However, I strongly believe that it lacks a conclusion sentence. Try to add one at the end.