My childhood and how it applies to me today - UC / World I come from

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

The following writing is only a start. If anyone has any feedback/tips/suggestions/criticisms it would be greatly appreciated.

Walking into a traditional restaurant in Japan to have dinner, my family and I expected to have dinner with the tour group, but there was a catch: we had to wear togas. Having just turned 13 years old, my immature self thought that the idea of donning a toga, or what I thought was a man-dress at the time, was embarrassing. I sat down and observed details of the "tatami" setup, where customers were to sit down, Indian style, to enjoy their meals, when a server placed a shell on the plate next to mine. I flipped over the shell to reveal a snail inside. It was ludicrous that such a harmless, and, not to mention, dead, creature scared me. Then I recalled my preschool years: for 180 consecutive school days, the only lunch I was willing to eat was a simple PB&J sandwich. Pondering, I was caught between a rock and hard place (or between a shell and a plate): I could simply take my chopsticks and drop the snail onto my mom's plate, and crawl back into my own shell of picky eating, or I could take a chance and try an animal that any typical 13 year old would shy away from. I learned that although they tasted better than I had anticipated, snails still tasted different compared with other "ordinary" foods. It was just a couple years later, that I was roaming the streets of Beijing, when my aunt stopped my family and I at one of the numerous street vendors. Beyond the famous crispy and succulent Peking duck that the city is known for, there is a variety of street food that many tourists are curious to try. "Cockroaches on a stick" is a common Chinese snack, and one that I will never learn to like, but because of my prior experiences with bizarre foods in Japan, my aspirations overcame my hesitations; I had no problem trying something that seemed as crazy and nonsensical as it sounded Experiencing my own little "Andrew Zimmern" moment was one that allowed myself to open up to new opportunities.

Hi!
Well, nice story. But While I was reading I can't understand what you want to show. I think you need add more information about you. Like where are you from, why you was afraid try new food, how it changed you. Add specific information like: smell in restaurant, taste of food, atmosphere. You had it, but it would be more interesting to add more details.

Try to think about conclusion, because it's diffuse and narrow. You need to tell how this experience, travels, food shaped you.
I hope it helps.

I didn't find your dream or aspiration, is it to try new foods??? I think you need to add a few more lines about what you now desire because of your experiences, such as traveling and exploring the world.

I've added this so far to my essay. Do you have any suggestions to how I could tie everything together in a conclusion? I really appreciate the feedback.

After becoming a little more accustomed to food, my family and I visited Owakudani, a valley where there are hot springs. Eggs hard-boiled in the hot springs turn black because of the sulfur and is rumored to make one live longer. I was able to try one of these special eggs, which was cool. When I had touched back down at home, I was inclined to learn more about food and developed a great interest in making food. I spent one of my childhood summers watching hours and hours of the Food Network, taking notes on not only the basics, but eventually how to "spruce" them up and make them my own. Starting from scrambling eggs, I eventually learned how to prepare complicated dishes for my parents and I to try. My first memory with banana bread was when I was seven, from a patient of my mom, who would bring some back home every so often. The taste is so unique; it is unlike any other type of bread. The sweetness and soft consistency of the bread is just wonderful.