China, the journey of a lifetime (short common app answer)

--this was my common app short answer---

Nearly six months ago I stepped off of an airplane and into the journey of a lifetime. For two weeks I travelled through China with eleven fellow students and teachers from my high school, writing a new chapter in my young life. Experiencing the culture and terrain of a country polar opposite from our own. Attending school in TanGgu, at the Bin Hai Foreign Language School as well as living in the home of a host family opened many doors for ...

The first and last red highlighted phrases sound awkward. polar=opposite so it is redundant. of MY own? or their own? Also took up mandarin doesn't sound as good. maybe choose a different word

it is better if you give a more detailed description of your trip.

One more thing! Make it parallel verb structure:
Living in China showed me another perspective into the ways of the people in our world and has pushed me to discover more about who I want to grow into as a person.

(Living... made and -----> pushed)

I guess I don't like the first sentence, because "of a lifetime" is a cliche.

In general, though, this is a great approach to answering this prompt.

:-)