I am applying to NYU, it will be great if any of you guys can proofread my short answer and personal essay , thanks in advance
Short Answer:Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).
MY RESPONSE:
There are limited resources available for Chinese immigrants in my school. Counselors don't speak Chinese; Chinese translators aren't available. Orientation isn't provided to new Chinese immigrants. As vice president of Operation Adjustment, I work with new immigrant students; I show them our school campus, provide information about upcoming events and advise them on classes. Sometime, I serve as a translator. When they have questions about the assignment, I talk to their teachers with them and translate what the teachers say. The simple "Thank you" from them and the sense of accomplishment strengthen my passion to help others.
Personal Essay:
Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.
Note: Your Common Application essay should be the same for all colleges. Do not customize it in any way for individual colleges. Colleges that want customized essay responses will ask for them on a supplement form.
PROMPT I CHOOSE: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
(538words)
I overcame the cultural gender expectation of passivity. Chinese culture follows a tradition of patriarchy where women are rendered voiceless in society. They have no control of their life and have no aspirations of their own. When I lived in Hong Kong, my mother and teachers raised me to be a traditional Chinese woman; and I allowed them in fear that I would be alienated if I failed to do so. However, immigrating to America changed my understanding of gender norms, challenging me to transcend the cultural boundaries with which I grew up.
When I first started school in America, a Chinese female classmate voiced her opinions in the middle of the class. The teacher didn't stop her; he applauded her. Surprised, I realized that American teachers encouraged all students-regardless of gender-to express themselves. Students were not alienated from their peers because they did not follow patriarchal norms. Despite seeing this, I remained reluctant to assert my opinions until I started to attend weekly Asian Immigrant Woman Advocate (AIWA) workshops.
AIWA reaches out to low-income, Asian immigrant women workers who speak limited English in hopes of stimulating positive changes in their workplaces, communities, and general society. We discussed social issues, such as domestic violence and patriarchal family structure. Initially, I was afraid to speak up. A facilitator, Hiu, noticed I wasn't participating in discussion and voiced her concerns. I hesitated in telling her that my behaviors followed the traditional Chinese norms for women. During the next meeting, I noticed how everyone's perspective was recognized. Five minutes before the workshop ended, I saw this was my chance to be myself without any inhibitions. "I think," I said in a soft, low voice: Hiu still heard me and silenced everyone. In that moment, my opinions were acknowledged and valued, and my voice became louder and louder. Although my sharing was brief, I felt heard and empowered.
I became active in AIWA and later became a facilitator. I helped my peers protest against low incomes that many Asian immigrant female workers received. Part of my job was to discuss social issues, such as gender inequality with my peers. Like Hiu, I encouraged people to speak up by giving them constant eye contacts and being patient.
My mother was disappointed in me for no longer being the traditional, passive Chinese daughter she raised me to be, refusing to drive me to AIWA. Undeterred, I took the bus to my group sessions. I am accepted and encouraged to be myself in AIWA-a female with a aspirations, voice in society, and the desire for higher education. With their support, I overcame my challenge of speak publicly; I have gained confidence and became a better public speaker who is able to facilitate discussion.
I no longer afraid of being myself; through joining AIWA, I found social acceptance from others and myself to be able to assert my opinion and decisions in life. I have also developed an interest in the field of sociology and social work. My future goal in life is to pursue a career in social work, as it will allow me to increase my knowledge and ability to help others, and expand the range of people I can help.
Short Answer:Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).
MY RESPONSE:
There are limited resources available for Chinese immigrants in my school. Counselors don't speak Chinese; Chinese translators aren't available. Orientation isn't provided to new Chinese immigrants. As vice president of Operation Adjustment, I work with new immigrant students; I show them our school campus, provide information about upcoming events and advise them on classes. Sometime, I serve as a translator. When they have questions about the assignment, I talk to their teachers with them and translate what the teachers say. The simple "Thank you" from them and the sense of accomplishment strengthen my passion to help others.
Personal Essay:
Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.
Note: Your Common Application essay should be the same for all colleges. Do not customize it in any way for individual colleges. Colleges that want customized essay responses will ask for them on a supplement form.
PROMPT I CHOOSE: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
(538words)
I overcame the cultural gender expectation of passivity. Chinese culture follows a tradition of patriarchy where women are rendered voiceless in society. They have no control of their life and have no aspirations of their own. When I lived in Hong Kong, my mother and teachers raised me to be a traditional Chinese woman; and I allowed them in fear that I would be alienated if I failed to do so. However, immigrating to America changed my understanding of gender norms, challenging me to transcend the cultural boundaries with which I grew up.
When I first started school in America, a Chinese female classmate voiced her opinions in the middle of the class. The teacher didn't stop her; he applauded her. Surprised, I realized that American teachers encouraged all students-regardless of gender-to express themselves. Students were not alienated from their peers because they did not follow patriarchal norms. Despite seeing this, I remained reluctant to assert my opinions until I started to attend weekly Asian Immigrant Woman Advocate (AIWA) workshops.
AIWA reaches out to low-income, Asian immigrant women workers who speak limited English in hopes of stimulating positive changes in their workplaces, communities, and general society. We discussed social issues, such as domestic violence and patriarchal family structure. Initially, I was afraid to speak up. A facilitator, Hiu, noticed I wasn't participating in discussion and voiced her concerns. I hesitated in telling her that my behaviors followed the traditional Chinese norms for women. During the next meeting, I noticed how everyone's perspective was recognized. Five minutes before the workshop ended, I saw this was my chance to be myself without any inhibitions. "I think," I said in a soft, low voice: Hiu still heard me and silenced everyone. In that moment, my opinions were acknowledged and valued, and my voice became louder and louder. Although my sharing was brief, I felt heard and empowered.
I became active in AIWA and later became a facilitator. I helped my peers protest against low incomes that many Asian immigrant female workers received. Part of my job was to discuss social issues, such as gender inequality with my peers. Like Hiu, I encouraged people to speak up by giving them constant eye contacts and being patient.
My mother was disappointed in me for no longer being the traditional, passive Chinese daughter she raised me to be, refusing to drive me to AIWA. Undeterred, I took the bus to my group sessions. I am accepted and encouraged to be myself in AIWA-a female with a aspirations, voice in society, and the desire for higher education. With their support, I overcame my challenge of speak publicly; I have gained confidence and became a better public speaker who is able to facilitate discussion.
I no longer afraid of being myself; through joining AIWA, I found social acceptance from others and myself to be able to assert my opinion and decisions in life. I have also developed an interest in the field of sociology and social work. My future goal in life is to pursue a career in social work, as it will allow me to increase my knowledge and ability to help others, and expand the range of people I can help.