'I choose not to wonder' - Rutgers Admission Essay

Prompt-how you believe a Rutgers education will help you achieve your personal enrichment or career goals.

Goals are essentially contemplations of desire and vary from person to person. Most goals start out as intangible and distant; however, through personal enrichment, anyone can utilize certain skills to make the intangible, tangible. The attainment factor is highly scrutinized in modern society. Everyone is constantly judging others based upon their profession and material possessions; these two things are only realistic if you set fundamental goals, which are assisted by personal enrichment. This pyramid starts with the essential building block, Rutgers.

Pertaining to personal improvement, I desire to attend Rutgers and complete the compulsory prerequisites; these prerequisites will not only expand my wisdom in a vast variety of areas of learning, but facilitate my path to attend medical school. The personal improvement does not only simplify my essential career goal, being a doctor, but incorporates a more delicate subject. The fragility of the subject, essentially, is a question that plagues most young people's minds as well as mine: will I make something out of my life? Well, that question has shaped the microcosm of most young adult's minds and many of these young adults, now grown ups, may speculate if they have made the appropriate choices. However, through subtle, hasty, deliberation I choose not to wonder and make the most out of my life; Rutgers is the epitome of success, which is why I'm choosing this school.

update

Goals are essentially contemplations of desire and vary from person to person. Most goals start out as intangible and distant; however, through personal enrichment, anyone can utilize certain skills to make the intangible, tangible. The attainment factor is highly scrutinized in modern society. Everyone is constantly judging others based upon their profession and material possessions; these two things are only realistic if you set fundamental goals, which are assisted by personal enrichment. This pyramid starts with the essential building block, Rutgers.

Pertaining to personal improvement, I desire to attend Rutgers and complete the compulsory prerequisites; these prerequisites will not only expand my wisdom in a vast variety of areas of learning, but facilitate my path to attend medical school. The personal improvement does not only simplify my essential career goal, being a doctor, but incorporates a more delicate subject. The fragility of the subject, essentially, is a question that plagues most young people's minds as well as mine: will I make something out of my life? Well, that question has shaped the microcosm of most young adult's minds and many of these young adults, now grown ups, may speculate if they have made the appropriate choices. However, through subtle, hasty, deliberation I choose not to wonder and make the most out of my life; Rutgers is the epitome of success, which is why I'm choosing this school. Ultimately, I hope the undergraduate degree that I achieve from partaking in your university will set me apart due to the prestigous nature of your institution. Also, I've been informed by numerous friends and family that Rutgers is great for other areas of study.

Unfortunately nothing in life is easy and there are no exceptions, not even for me. However, if I'm accepted into Rutgers there will be great facilites, teachers, peers, and knowledge readily available to make my expectations realistic. I'm looking forward to making strides together and enjoying the brisk walk to my undergraduate degree; and more importantly statisfying the standards Rutgers administration knows any student can achieve, and the goals I need to achieve. Rutgers our goals are one in the same and I'd proudly carry your name with me, just like you'd proudly held my hand on the walk to success, so lets do this together.

Hi:)
The whole passage seems to me a little bit general. I think you need to be more specific as to how you suit the school just as it suits you! As you mentioned "the prestigious nature of Rutgus", you may want to point out specificly how Rutgers can set you apart with your counterparts in terms of the courses provided, the academic environment you will be exposed to, etc. I think you can check their website and gain more ideas as to what it features itself.

You can be emotional in some parts of your essay, but in most parts, i suggest you keep analytical.