Hello everyone, these are my two personal statements of Virginia Tech. I'm looking for some advice on how to improve them, especially for the first one which has exceeded the limit by about 17 words.
Please don't hesitate to give your feedbacks/comments. Thanks a lot!!!
Here are my essays:
Prompt #1: What are the top five reasons you want to attend Virginia Tech?(250 words maximum)
There are several reasons why I would like to transfer to Virginia Tech. With the great passion in Civil Engineering, I want to become an environmental engineer and I believe that Virginia Tech can perfectly support my professional goal. First of all, its developed and highly-ranked Engineering programs will instill in me practical skills with social responsibilities of a real engineer. Typically, the program of Environmental and Water Resources Engineering at VT is my dreamed field. Also, the prestigious educational system at Virginia Tech will place me on a pinnacle where I can fully explore my academic potential; this includes the high faculty-student ratio which will encourage me to take initiatives to interact with both my peers and professors. In addition, VT provides rich career services like Cooperative Education and Undergraduate Research, which will truly helpful in guiding me to better transit into my future career. Furthermore, VT's inclusive communities and its rural setting have created a pure and inspiring learning ambience, under which I will be motivated to pursue my academic excellence with great satisfaction. Finally, the academic preparation I have made at Saint Louis University also strengthens my confidence to transfer. I have utilized the resources to obtain fundamental knowledge of my major and achieve some excellence. However, it is my assertion that I can do much better. As Civil Engineering at SLU is newly-founded department with limited academic resources, I have decided that I need a more demanding academic environment where I can optimize my academic excellence more successfully. Transferring to VT will give me opportunities to achieve my goals and contribute to society. (267 words)
Prompt #2: If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain. (250 words maximum)
I would like the Admissions Committee to be aware of my academic criteria. I performed unsatisfactorily in my course work at Southeast University, China, but I did not stay where I was; since then, I have made great progress, which made me believe that it is the progress I have made rather than the scores I once got that could represent my true academic achievements.
During the first semester at SEU, I struggled with the rigorous courses and became stressed out. Although strenuous efforts were made, I obtained unsatisfactory scores in the finals. Frustrated as I was, I saw this experience as a chance to improve myself. In the next semester, I focused on polishing my study methods. Although I again did not get very high scores in the finals, I made great progress. As I am currently attending Saint Louis University, I am utilizing those methods and my coursework is going smoothly with good results in the finals.
Overall, I am capable of taking advantage of my failures to build up my final success. My bad GPA at SEU persuaded me that I still needed to improve myself. Also, I believe that progress often starts with allowing me to fail the first time, and my true potential can be best demonstrated by the progress I have made. Therefore, there is no way that I will let my previous poor course performance hold me back, and there is no way that I will stop making progress and exceeding my limits. (250 words)
Please be critic, THANKS!!
Please don't hesitate to give your feedbacks/comments. Thanks a lot!!!
Here are my essays:
Prompt #1: What are the top five reasons you want to attend Virginia Tech?(250 words maximum)
There are several reasons why I would like to transfer to Virginia Tech. With the great passion in Civil Engineering, I want to become an environmental engineer and I believe that Virginia Tech can perfectly support my professional goal. First of all, its developed and highly-ranked Engineering programs will instill in me practical skills with social responsibilities of a real engineer. Typically, the program of Environmental and Water Resources Engineering at VT is my dreamed field. Also, the prestigious educational system at Virginia Tech will place me on a pinnacle where I can fully explore my academic potential; this includes the high faculty-student ratio which will encourage me to take initiatives to interact with both my peers and professors. In addition, VT provides rich career services like Cooperative Education and Undergraduate Research, which will truly helpful in guiding me to better transit into my future career. Furthermore, VT's inclusive communities and its rural setting have created a pure and inspiring learning ambience, under which I will be motivated to pursue my academic excellence with great satisfaction. Finally, the academic preparation I have made at Saint Louis University also strengthens my confidence to transfer. I have utilized the resources to obtain fundamental knowledge of my major and achieve some excellence. However, it is my assertion that I can do much better. As Civil Engineering at SLU is newly-founded department with limited academic resources, I have decided that I need a more demanding academic environment where I can optimize my academic excellence more successfully. Transferring to VT will give me opportunities to achieve my goals and contribute to society. (267 words)
Prompt #2: If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain. (250 words maximum)
I would like the Admissions Committee to be aware of my academic criteria. I performed unsatisfactorily in my course work at Southeast University, China, but I did not stay where I was; since then, I have made great progress, which made me believe that it is the progress I have made rather than the scores I once got that could represent my true academic achievements.
During the first semester at SEU, I struggled with the rigorous courses and became stressed out. Although strenuous efforts were made, I obtained unsatisfactory scores in the finals. Frustrated as I was, I saw this experience as a chance to improve myself. In the next semester, I focused on polishing my study methods. Although I again did not get very high scores in the finals, I made great progress. As I am currently attending Saint Louis University, I am utilizing those methods and my coursework is going smoothly with good results in the finals.
Overall, I am capable of taking advantage of my failures to build up my final success. My bad GPA at SEU persuaded me that I still needed to improve myself. Also, I believe that progress often starts with allowing me to fail the first time, and my true potential can be best demonstrated by the progress I have made. Therefore, there is no way that I will let my previous poor course performance hold me back, and there is no way that I will stop making progress and exceeding my limits. (250 words)
Please be critic, THANKS!!