Hi guys
I am an international student and I have finished my essays. however there is no one who can check them..
Can you please read it and tell me if there are some grammatical errors or a wrong use of the vocabulary?
Also if it is a good essay..
here is the essay
COMMON APP ESSAY
Every day, every moment of our life we are subject to important decisions. However if we think carefully most of the times life is the outcome of random circumstances. At the end the only things on which we really make a choice are the most insignificant, the ones we do not even think we are making a choice on.
The most personal one is clothing. I started experiencing the hardness of wearing when I entered in the pre-adolescence phase. Every single morning I have been struggling with my wardrobe just to find the right combinations. Perhaps I am not the only one.
What really intrigues me about wearing is how most of us deny to care about it: "Oh no, I am not that kind of person. I wear what is comfortable". Classical sentence: simple and to the point. Those are the ones who have on all the various color tones that arise in you the imagine of them staring themselves in front of the mirror for at least two hours. Thus, essentially no one admits publicly to care about their appearance/outer face. However it says something about the person, it talks to others creating an idea, an abstract imagine in their minds about an individual.
Walking on the shopping centre, My brother and I once entered OVIESSE shop and immediately a winter hat attracted his attention. He was so excited to have found it that he did not notice the ugly tag in front of it. Once he wore it, the tab clearly appeared on the mirror and his eyes became similar to those of a disillusioned child who discovered that his present was not the one he expected."I just want to wear something normal!" he muttered. All the beautiful clothes and shoes uglified by stems, numbers or whatever else that represents the designer label, were noticed that afternoon by him. I guess the word "normal" literally extinguished from our society. Alternative is the in vogue word today. Alternative people are allowed to wear everything combined in every way possible: red, yellow, blue, brown, orange. They invented the look.
Choosing what to wear has become a international problem. Perhaps this is a way of exhibition, a need of the man to be noticed. I would better call it a personal need. Wearing means feeling good, being in synch with our garments. This kind of choice embraces our necessity to be different, to distinguish our character from the others. We want to feel unique because we fear the number, the so-called mass.
In pretending to be different we make a bit of confusion. The mass is not equivalent to number. There can be millions and millions of similar people, but they can still remain individual, with their uniqueness. I think it is possible. Number is a meaningless concept, the only thing that really counts is using our unequalled head in making our personal choices, even if it has to do with such a simple thing like clothing.
pleaseeee help mee
I am an international student and I have finished my essays. however there is no one who can check them..
Can you please read it and tell me if there are some grammatical errors or a wrong use of the vocabulary?
Also if it is a good essay..
here is the essay
COMMON APP ESSAY
Every day, every moment of our life we are subject to important decisions. However if we think carefully most of the times life is the outcome of random circumstances. At the end the only things on which we really make a choice are the most insignificant, the ones we do not even think we are making a choice on.
The most personal one is clothing. I started experiencing the hardness of wearing when I entered in the pre-adolescence phase. Every single morning I have been struggling with my wardrobe just to find the right combinations. Perhaps I am not the only one.
What really intrigues me about wearing is how most of us deny to care about it: "Oh no, I am not that kind of person. I wear what is comfortable". Classical sentence: simple and to the point. Those are the ones who have on all the various color tones that arise in you the imagine of them staring themselves in front of the mirror for at least two hours. Thus, essentially no one admits publicly to care about their appearance/outer face. However it says something about the person, it talks to others creating an idea, an abstract imagine in their minds about an individual.
Walking on the shopping centre, My brother and I once entered OVIESSE shop and immediately a winter hat attracted his attention. He was so excited to have found it that he did not notice the ugly tag in front of it. Once he wore it, the tab clearly appeared on the mirror and his eyes became similar to those of a disillusioned child who discovered that his present was not the one he expected."I just want to wear something normal!" he muttered. All the beautiful clothes and shoes uglified by stems, numbers or whatever else that represents the designer label, were noticed that afternoon by him. I guess the word "normal" literally extinguished from our society. Alternative is the in vogue word today. Alternative people are allowed to wear everything combined in every way possible: red, yellow, blue, brown, orange. They invented the look.
Choosing what to wear has become a international problem. Perhaps this is a way of exhibition, a need of the man to be noticed. I would better call it a personal need. Wearing means feeling good, being in synch with our garments. This kind of choice embraces our necessity to be different, to distinguish our character from the others. We want to feel unique because we fear the number, the so-called mass.
In pretending to be different we make a bit of confusion. The mass is not equivalent to number. There can be millions and millions of similar people, but they can still remain individual, with their uniqueness. I think it is possible. Number is a meaningless concept, the only thing that really counts is using our unequalled head in making our personal choices, even if it has to do with such a simple thing like clothing.
pleaseeee help mee
