The clique short answer

Hi, this is my response to describing an important activity, do you find it interesting? Is there anything I can do to make it better?

I belong to a clique. All members, including me, have been sworn in: some voluntary and some less fortunate. I am a senior member now, having been a part of it since the age of eight. We meet once a week to practice our purpose and thanks to my near veteran status I preside over the meetings as the leader. I belong to my temple's Thai dance team, after each Thai lesson at Wat Buddhavas Sunday school I would proceed onto practicing Thai Classical dance. Years of practices and performances later our dance team was recognized and invited to dance for the Queen of Thailand's birthday, an extravagant annual affair broadcast on TV. Fame or no fame, Thai dancing remains the most meaningful activity to me; the members and I have formed a sisterhood. From them I learned the importance of friendship, team-work and the real meaning of a leader.

Thanks

Well, I think you did a pretty good job at telling people your timeline/history in Thai dancing, but I think you need to elaborate more on why you like it, why is it meaningful to you and how did you lean the importance of friendship, team-work and blahblah.. things like that.

The thing is I think this short answer needs to focus on one thing since the response has to be within 150, what I did with mine (talking about figure skating) is that I tell people I like figure skating because of confidence it needed to perform the moves, and then I focus on the confidence. Does that sound like a good example for the essay? well, i'm not sure of it either, but this is the way I approach my essay.

good luck,
hope this helps
angela629

Hi,
Don't worry you are not missing any part.
You have good insight.

1. Describe your main parts. As Angela says how you learned good friendship, team work. Give a story that relates to the big changes you made thorugh your favorite activity.

I have an essay about my favorite activity. You can check mine. Maybe it will helo you a bit. It's called ''the most important activity of your life that tells something about you".

We meet once a week to practice our purpose, and, thanks to my near veteran status, I preside over the meetings as the leader. I belong to my temple's Thai dance team; after each Thai lesson at Wat Buddhavas Sunday school I would proceed to practicing Thai Classical dance as well . Years of practices and performances later, our dance team was recognized and invited to dance for the Queen of Thailand's birthday, an extravagant annual affair broadcast on TV. Fame or no fame, Thai dancing remains the most meaningful activity to me; the members and I have formed a sisterhood. From them I learned the importance of friendship, team-work and the real meaning of leadership .

this clique is sory of a good idea to write an essay on. you should elaborate yourself as a leader and what you have learned from it. pros and cons

Hi what do you been by that?

this is indeed very interesting. it will really catch the readers attention since the topic is not something often experienced. you should talk more of how Thai dancing is really meaningful to you. i think your essay will come out great. good luck to you.