"The clock ticks" - MIT Personality Essay, thoughts, suggestions

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

The clock ticks. The unexpected occurs. Last-minute problems arise, and crunch time approaches. When some people may falter or simply abandon hope, I feel alive. I pride myself in my ability to work well under pressure. When high-stress situations occur, I am able to maintain a calm composure, keep my wits about me, and remain even-tempered and serene. When a group project's due date draws near and my team members hang on the verge of a small-scale panic attack, I am the one looked upon to ensure tranquility and find a quick, efficient, and effective solution.

Maybe a shred of Type A personality seeps through the cracks of my character and allows me to do my best when pushed or pressured. Perhaps genetics play a part in my personality. After all, my mom works with explosive chemicals, and my grandpa drove a tank, both requiring "A-game" performances in stressful times. Whatever the reason, I can perform exceptionally when given an extensive research paper, even when it's topped with a pop quiz in calculus and served with a side of an economics project. Rather than succumb to excessively taxing situations, I am able to use my ability to focus, accomplish the task, and sail beyond expectations.

Thanks =)

effective not affective

"tense and uneasy" contradicts your supposed serenity under pressure

"at stressful times" change to "under stress" or "in stressful times"

"pressed down by an"
seems a bit strange. I guess you're going for a food analogy? The sentence doesn't entirely make sense.

Overall, I like it and you got the point across effectively and with strong language.

Good luck with MIT!
Grace

Thanks, and yea that's what I was going for. I'll try to reword it to make it more clear. =)

pushed or pressured- find a better word for 'pressured'- i think it is an incorrect word, i know of pressurized

In situations When some people may falter or simply that would cause some people to abandon hope, I feel alive.

I pride myself in my ability to work well under pressure . You already established this, so it takes power out of your writing if you say it again.

When high-stress situations occur, I am able to maintain a calm composure, keep my wits about me, and remain even-tempered and serene. Again, it is time to move on and add more substance to the essay instead of repeating that idea...

When a group project's due date...---again here, I see you just making the same point in different words rather than progressing toward the next point you want to make.

Throughout the essay, you have room to give examples of times when you did successfully act under pressure... and also intentions for your future in which you might have a profession that requires this ability. :-) Just don't do anything dangerous for a living!