'to commmit a hundred percent of my focus' - The Art Institute essay

"What your career Goals are and how do you expect your education at The Art Institute to help you attain them? In what ways will you participate and commit to your education in order to be successful?"

Well first off, let me tell you that I am really grateful for the opportunity to be writing this essay. I have always been a huge fan of gaming and games entirely. Since I was seven years old, all I have done was play video games and dream about creating them. So if i were to be accepted, that would just bring me one step closer to being able to bring my ideas to life. Anyway, as you may tell, my overall career goal is to create my own video game with it's own storyline and basically all my creative ideas into it. With the education that i could obtain from the Art Institute, I could learn all the backwork that goes into the production of a video game and be able to create characters, enviroments, scenes and everything in between. Now when it comes down to it, I am willing to do anything to see this through. I actually live in Louisiana and I am willing and ready to move in order to start my education. No matter what, I will do everything in my power to commmit a hundred percent of my focus towards this. So I hope that you enjoy my essay and I really hope that i will be allowed to start my education as soon as possible.

150 word assignment

Hi,

Just a couple of things:

Anyway, as you may tell, my overallultimate ....

With the education thati could obtain The education and enriching experiences that the Art Institute provides will enable me...\

Nice essay but you should write more on the why and what of your career goals...maybe you could change the intro a little...

Good Luck with your Application!!! :)

Hi

I'm not a good English writer but
Let me tell you what I've understood by reading your answer to the question. According to my view, your answer is not as per the question requirement.

Read the question again. It was asking about "What your career Goals? " and your answer is to "create my own video game ". I think, this does not sounds better. It should be something like which should attract the interest of the reader. If I were you, I'd write "As a proprietor, I want to develop my own gaming company, so that I can use my all creative ideas to be in top by hitting all the major gaming companies and to gain a name & place in the world history".

"how do you expect your education at The Art Institute to help you attain them?"
Here the demand of a question is - how do you think? our institute will able to provide you adequate knowledge to help you achieve your goal?

so basically you have to write, what makes you to choose this institute? What you have seen, read, heard about this institute before you applied.

So you have to show the reader that, you've selected the right institute to help achieve your goal.

In what ways will you participate and commit to your education in order to be successful?"
Here the question demand is - what you'll do by yourself other than a college education in order to be successful.

and also I'd like to remove first and last sentence of this essay.

Hope this helps!!