Common App short answer - "Ford technician"

I always had a hobby for cars but writing "Ford technician" on a résumé at age 17 is not what I expected to do before college. In February 2008, I worked in the service department as an intern at Sherwood Ford of Salisbury. I spent seven months fixing automobiles. I spent most of my time working with Seng Tong, a certified transmission technician. From basic diagnostic steps to taking out a transmission, Tong walked me through various maintenance procedures. One thing he stressed in every procedure was the importance of every little detail. He said "a human's life is more valuable than a car and that is the purpose of fix cars." If one little detail was overlooked, we could seriously injure a customer as well as others. Tong compared the service department with a hospital. Technicians were doctors, cars were patients, and I was a nurse working to become a doctor.

This is due today so please help!
thank you

it is a 150 word max but i am over!

Here is one possible revision that would get you down to the max:

I always had a passion for cars, but I never expected to be able to write "Ford technician" on my résumé at age 17. Nevertheless, in February 2008, I spent seven months fixing automobiles as an intern at Sherwood Ford of Salisbury under the tutelage of Seng Tong, a certified transmission technician. From running basic diagnostics to taking out a transmission, Tong walked me through various maintenance procedures. He always stressed the importance of the little details. He said that we fixed cars to keep people safe. If one little detail was overlooked, we could seriously injure a customer as well as others. Tong compared the service department to a hospital: technicians were doctors, cars were patients, and I was a nurse working to become a doctor. This analogy made me realize that pursuing my passion could be a good way to help others as well as to enjoy myself.

Oh, Sean made all the changes I was going to suggest! This is a strong little essay. What was the prompt? I guess I suggest writing out "seventeen" instead of 17, because it looks nicer... but that is just opinion!

Good luck!!!

:)