PROMPT: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Please, be brutally honest. I'll be sure to return the favor. =) Thanks!
The Boat comforted all who climbed upon it. No one could resist the cushy seats and the warm towels, especially in the heat of the sun. Time after time, the Boat succeeded in lulling its passengers lazier than a sloth. I probably could've fallen asleep beneath the toasty towel, and nearly did when―
"Rachel! Want to try next?"
My dad just clambered out of the water from a wicked awesome round of wakeboarding, drenched from head to toe. In fact, a drowned rat couldn't have been more soaked. He looked cold enough to have icicles hanging off his nose, too. The Boat pleaded me to stay. Rest. Take a nap. Anything but leave my toasty towel. On the other hand, I had nothing to lose by trying something new.
"Yeah, I'll give it a whirl," I replied with a smile.
My dad beamed. He always thought that a well-rounded person could get a lot out of life, so he encouraged me and my sisters to venture out of our safety zones to try new things. Upon stating my reply, I wobbled up lazily from my seat and started toward my life jacket. I put it on slowly, slightly anxious. The fact that the wakeboard bindings completely swallowed my feet didn't reassure me, either. As I slipped off the edge of the Boat, a deluge of water rushed past my face. Not surprisingly, my head popped out of the water an ice cube. I thought I would shiver and shake out of my skin if not the balmy summer air, boasting a pleasant eighty degrees that day. Binding tied as tight as possible and hands gripping the handlebar until my knuckles turned white (or was it due to the frigid water?), I tried to clear my mind of everything except the wakeboard. Okay, I can do this... just turn the board when there's some pressure. I should have a grand old time, I told myself. Okay, I think I'm ready...
"Hit it!"
The engine roared as if I had angered the Boat and sacrifices had to be made; the sacrifice-- me. I leaned too far back, into a face-plant. Once again, a stream of icy water rushed past my face; or through my face, rather. My mouth and nose filled with the taste of murky lake water.
My attempt to wakeboard followed a similar pattern for four or five more tries, but to no avail; I still couldn't carry out the correct motions. Each time I failed, Dad recommended a different technique in order to stay up and out of the water. While my mind accepted the information, my feet would simply not follow orders. It was on the sixth try that something actually clicked.
Floating in the water like before, I was determined. My will was unstoppable, like a bomb set to detonate in the next five seconds. I was a robot, programmed to succeed. I called out and heard the Boat roar; my mind commanded, my feet acquiesced. One foot forward, one foot back, I stood up. A smile spread across my face when I suddenly!
caught my edge and fell again.
Despite the last-minute mackerel-slap, my smile had grown into a contagious grin. I glowed with the pride of succeeding to (almost) wakeboard. I swear I could light a candle with that glow.
As I climbed back into the boat, I knew my mindset had changed. After all those futile attempts, I triumphed! More importantly, I enjoyed myself immensely in the attempt. From this, I realized that as a person tries new things outside of their comfort zone, their comfort zone grows to a much greater area. Never again would I hesitate to try something new.
My dad beamed. He always thought that a well-rounded person could get a lot out of life, so he encouraged my sisters and I to venture out of our safety zones to try new things. Upon stating my reply, I wobbled up lazily from my seat and started toward my life jacket. I put it on slowly, slightly anxious. The fact that the wakeboard bindings completely swallowed my feet didn't reassure me, either. As I slipped off the edge of the Boat, a deluge of water rushed past my face. Not surprisingly, my head popped out of the water an ice cube (sounds kind of funny here. I get what you're saying tho) . I thought I would shiver and shake out of my skin if not for the balmy summer air, boasting a pleasant eighty degrees that day. Binding tied as tight as possible and hands gripping the handlebar until my knuckles turned white (or was it due to the frigid water?), I tried to clear my mind of everything except the wakeboard. Okay, I can do this... just turn the board when there's some pressure. I should have a grand old time, I told myself. Okay, I think I'm ready...
I put my changes in red but otherwise, an interesting read and definitely unique. Although, I have no idea what a wakeboard is.
Yea...I would like to edit some, I definitely don't write as well as you do.
I like this part:
when I suddenly!
caught my edge and fell again.
:)
Your essay is really unique, very engaging too.
Thanks for looking at my essay for Cornell earlier.
Due to Common App being used by bizillions of applicants, I cannot submit my essay right now. So, would you be willing to take another look at it?
GOOD LUCK!
