Hey everyone, please help me with this essay to see if there is anything wrong with it. thanks!
I am the student sitting in the empty staircase, lonely, scared and ridiculed. Everyday, I have to endure the bombardment of constant laughter and giggles from others, resonating and amplifying inside my head, until my mind turns blank and into total despair. I have no friends because other students think I am strange, I have no one to turn to because I didn't speak their language, furthermore, I am mad at myself because I am not good enough in school. I was always an excellent student in China. All of this is leading me into a downward spiral.
This was how I felt when I first came to Canada. Everything that was familiar to me, my language, and my friends, were gone and I was hurled into a strange country with people speaking a strange language, and with no friends. I became extremely antisocial, depressed and hated the fact that I was different. I didn't participate in social activities of any kind, and books were my best friends. Most of this was driven by fear of humiliation and rejection.
After about half a year later, my English improved and I gradually made more friends. School became enjoyable and no longer a prison. However, past experiences still stuck me and I didn't have enough confidence to become a leader. Things started to change in high school, however, when I ran for the Class Representative. It was very hard on me at first and it was a catastrophe the first time I spoke in front of my class. My heart was about to beat out of my throat, my body was shaking out of control, sweat was running down my back and my throat was so dry that my voice crackled, even worse, the butterflies in my stomach made me want to throw up. I won however, and this victory changed me forever. I was so surprised by my victory. For the first time, I overcame my fear and fulfilled my responsibilities to represent and lead the class for various activities, such as fund raisers for united way and school spirit days. Through countless challenges, encouragements from friends and my family, and success, I gained confidence. I became very open and outgoing, my interactions with other students allowed me to gain new knowledge and perspectives, and I became passionate about making a difference.
This initial success lead me into joining and starting other organizations that were more challenging but allowed me make bigger differences, this included representing the entire student body of my school at the city level, and starting a key club at to develop leadership in other and to provide service to the school and community. I made a difference in my school by giving students at my school a voice to decide on things that are most important to them, and in the community by volunteering to protect and restore my neighborhood park, High Park. Bit by bit, my leadership skills improved until I was able to become a true leader who was able to plan, organize, motivate others, and accomplish complex tasks that often require problem solving skills and continuous focus. Challenges began to thrill me as I used it to better myself. I went beyond what is necessary of me and took on initiatives that others didn't and changed myself in the process.
The more involved I became, the more I realized how much I enjoyed it, and the more I was able to meet new people with different viewpoints. This allowed me to develop into someone who was open minded and was able combine and understand diverse perspectives. Being different no longer bothered me, in fact, it gave me an edge when I interact with others because I was able to build rapport much quicker with the ability to see things in their perspective. My belief in my diversity was further proven when president-elect Barrack Obama, a person with a diverse background, won the U.S Presidential Election.
High school has morphed me into a completely different person, changing me from an antisocial student into a student brimming with confidence and charisma. However, the transformation is not complete and I am ready to further transform myself in university beyond who I am today and into who I want to be.
I am the student sitting in the empty staircase, lonely, scared and ridiculed. Everyday, I have to endure the bombardment of constant laughter and giggles from others, resonating and amplifying inside my head, until my mind turns blank and into total despair. I have no friends because other students think I am strange, I have no one to turn to because I didn't speak their language, furthermore, I am mad at myself because I am not good enough in school. I was always an excellent student in China. All of this is leading me into a downward spiral.
This was how I felt when I first came to Canada. Everything that was familiar to me, my language, and my friends, were gone and I was hurled into a strange country with people speaking a strange language, and with no friends. I became extremely antisocial, depressed and hated the fact that I was different. I didn't participate in social activities of any kind, and books were my best friends. Most of this was driven by fear of humiliation and rejection.
After about half a year later, my English improved and I gradually made more friends. School became enjoyable and no longer a prison. However, past experiences still stuck me and I didn't have enough confidence to become a leader. Things started to change in high school, however, when I ran for the Class Representative. It was very hard on me at first and it was a catastrophe the first time I spoke in front of my class. My heart was about to beat out of my throat, my body was shaking out of control, sweat was running down my back and my throat was so dry that my voice crackled, even worse, the butterflies in my stomach made me want to throw up. I won however, and this victory changed me forever. I was so surprised by my victory. For the first time, I overcame my fear and fulfilled my responsibilities to represent and lead the class for various activities, such as fund raisers for united way and school spirit days. Through countless challenges, encouragements from friends and my family, and success, I gained confidence. I became very open and outgoing, my interactions with other students allowed me to gain new knowledge and perspectives, and I became passionate about making a difference.
This initial success lead me into joining and starting other organizations that were more challenging but allowed me make bigger differences, this included representing the entire student body of my school at the city level, and starting a key club at to develop leadership in other and to provide service to the school and community. I made a difference in my school by giving students at my school a voice to decide on things that are most important to them, and in the community by volunteering to protect and restore my neighborhood park, High Park. Bit by bit, my leadership skills improved until I was able to become a true leader who was able to plan, organize, motivate others, and accomplish complex tasks that often require problem solving skills and continuous focus. Challenges began to thrill me as I used it to better myself. I went beyond what is necessary of me and took on initiatives that others didn't and changed myself in the process.
The more involved I became, the more I realized how much I enjoyed it, and the more I was able to meet new people with different viewpoints. This allowed me to develop into someone who was open minded and was able combine and understand diverse perspectives. Being different no longer bothered me, in fact, it gave me an edge when I interact with others because I was able to build rapport much quicker with the ability to see things in their perspective. My belief in my diversity was further proven when president-elect Barrack Obama, a person with a diverse background, won the U.S Presidential Election.
High school has morphed me into a completely different person, changing me from an antisocial student into a student brimming with confidence and charisma. However, the transformation is not complete and I am ready to further transform myself in university beyond who I am today and into who I want to be.
