Hi I am just looking for feedback on my common app essay. I have had other people look at but I would like a variety of perspectives.
A small, sleek metal frame: cool to the touch, reflecting any light that beams toward it. The dial, layered with monochrome components; a black face, textured like bubblewrap; 12 thin metal bars; 48 smaller white strips, each marking the small increments of the hour; three hands, each one synchronously tracking time's endless flow. The back: "SEIKO"; "WATER RESISTANT"; "ST STEEL BACK"; "JAPAN A"; scratches scarred the text. This relic, passed down to me after my grandfather's passing, holds a 50-year-old legacy. As I admired its intricate beauty, I couldn't help but wonder: How much is it worth?
It was fake.
My heart was disappointed, yet I wondered why my grandfather had a fake watch. Was he scammed into paying hundreds for the watch? Did he buy the watch just because it looked nice? Was he aware that it was fake? My mother told me he was sent it as a graduation gift from his brother, yet I never saw him wear it.
Why didn't he wear the watch when he died? Why did my mother not remember the piece until it was discovered in his closet? Why didn't we put it in his coffin before he was cremated? The watch had been with him throughout his entire life, yet it wasn't with him when his time ended.
My grandfather was a massive fan of fashion, in every photo he took he had the watch on. I couldn't blame him, it was a good watch. The watch traveled with him for at least 40 years. Keeping track of every single moment in his life.
I saw photos of him wearing the watch. He was with college friends, employees, his wife, and daughters. The watch walked with him through his graduation, sat on his wrist during his interviews, and was pointless when he spent time with family because he would lose track of time.
When I discovered the watch, its battery was dead, reminding us that his time had ended. I replaced the battery, letting it tick and track a new lifetime.
I rarely wore the watch daily, scared I would damage or dirty it. I would only wear it to important events: interviews, exams, celebrations, family reunions, and the SAT. I even wore it on my first date-which took place in a movie theater. The cool touch of the watch kept my body from getting hot, his spirit reminded me that I wasn't alone. All of the moments I wore the watch, I shared them with him. Yet I have only lived a fifth of my entire life.
As I look into the future, as the second hand continues to tick, my grandfather will be there. Graduations, interviews, my wedding: my grandfather will be watching me. Each glance at the watch will continue to remind me of the resilience and patience he and I embody throughout our lives. In recent years, I feel that I have become more like him-hungry for knowledge, reading books and magazines just to learn about the world I live in. As I step into the next chapter of my life, whether it is navigating college or pursuing a career, I will carry the values that my grandfather had- hard work, humility, and persistence. I do not only seek academic and career growth but personal growth too. I do not want to only achieve personal success but also carry forward my grandfather's legacy and principles, sharing them with others along my journey.
But, everyone runs out of time.
When the time is right, my child will inherit the family jewel. It will not just be a shiny accessory, but a keeper of wisdom, values, and memories. My grandfather and I will be with whoever harnesses the watch. Whenever they cross the stage during graduation, we-I-will be with them.
The morals and principles of my grandfather were carried through the watch and passed to me; the morals and principles of me will be carried through the watch and passed to my child; the morals and principles of my child will be carried through the watch and passed to my grandchild. The watch holds more than just time-it holds a legacy.
A small, sleek metal frame: cool to the touch, reflecting any light that beams toward it. The dial, layered with monochrome components; a black face, textured like bubblewrap; 12 thin metal bars; 48 smaller white strips, each marking the small increments of the hour; three hands, each one synchronously tracking time's endless flow. The back: "SEIKO"; "WATER RESISTANT"; "ST STEEL BACK"; "JAPAN A"; scratches scarred the text. This relic, passed down to me after my grandfather's passing, holds a 50-year-old legacy. As I admired its intricate beauty, I couldn't help but wonder: How much is it worth?
It was fake.
My heart was disappointed, yet I wondered why my grandfather had a fake watch. Was he scammed into paying hundreds for the watch? Did he buy the watch just because it looked nice? Was he aware that it was fake? My mother told me he was sent it as a graduation gift from his brother, yet I never saw him wear it.
Why didn't he wear the watch when he died? Why did my mother not remember the piece until it was discovered in his closet? Why didn't we put it in his coffin before he was cremated? The watch had been with him throughout his entire life, yet it wasn't with him when his time ended.
My grandfather was a massive fan of fashion, in every photo he took he had the watch on. I couldn't blame him, it was a good watch. The watch traveled with him for at least 40 years. Keeping track of every single moment in his life.
I saw photos of him wearing the watch. He was with college friends, employees, his wife, and daughters. The watch walked with him through his graduation, sat on his wrist during his interviews, and was pointless when he spent time with family because he would lose track of time.
When I discovered the watch, its battery was dead, reminding us that his time had ended. I replaced the battery, letting it tick and track a new lifetime.
I rarely wore the watch daily, scared I would damage or dirty it. I would only wear it to important events: interviews, exams, celebrations, family reunions, and the SAT. I even wore it on my first date-which took place in a movie theater. The cool touch of the watch kept my body from getting hot, his spirit reminded me that I wasn't alone. All of the moments I wore the watch, I shared them with him. Yet I have only lived a fifth of my entire life.
As I look into the future, as the second hand continues to tick, my grandfather will be there. Graduations, interviews, my wedding: my grandfather will be watching me. Each glance at the watch will continue to remind me of the resilience and patience he and I embody throughout our lives. In recent years, I feel that I have become more like him-hungry for knowledge, reading books and magazines just to learn about the world I live in. As I step into the next chapter of my life, whether it is navigating college or pursuing a career, I will carry the values that my grandfather had- hard work, humility, and persistence. I do not only seek academic and career growth but personal growth too. I do not want to only achieve personal success but also carry forward my grandfather's legacy and principles, sharing them with others along my journey.
But, everyone runs out of time.
When the time is right, my child will inherit the family jewel. It will not just be a shiny accessory, but a keeper of wisdom, values, and memories. My grandfather and I will be with whoever harnesses the watch. Whenever they cross the stage during graduation, we-I-will be with them.
The morals and principles of my grandfather were carried through the watch and passed to me; the morals and principles of me will be carried through the watch and passed to my child; the morals and principles of my child will be carried through the watch and passed to my grandchild. The watch holds more than just time-it holds a legacy.
