Hi, I am currently applying to university. Please help me to take a look of my common app personal essay. I will accept any criticisms or corrections. Thanks for helping me :)
Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
For me, college is a milestone in our life to achieve success. Upon my arrival from my country, I always thought what I should accomplish. As I begin to study at Foothill College last fall as a business major student, at first, I am not sure whether business major is the right choice for me. That time I decided to register as a business major, because I come from a family who has strong business background. The other reason I choose business is because I look my father, who is an entrepreneur, as my role model. But as time goes by everything becomes clearer, and I find myself enjoying business study, so I decided to major in business administration.
I encounter a lot of challenges in the middle way; however, I believe that this is part of life training. I learned a lot of life-lesson experience. For me, studying in college is not always about understanding about the entire related topic to our major, but on how the experience that you get changes you to a better person.
Time flies so fast; I realize I am about to reach the end of my 2-year study in Foothill College. I am looking to advance my business study in university I am transferring. I am very excited to expand my interest, because I believe there will be a lot of interesting knowledge that I will learn in university. My objective is to achieve my success, I hope all the experiences I learned from college and the opportunity to learn new knowledge in new university will help me to achieve my success. All of these are a stepping milestone to reach my dream.
