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Common App essay: Performing


alightinapark 2 / -  
Dec 28, 2008   #1
Hey, if you guys could just revise my essay and possibly give it a title, it would be appreciated, thanks!

Please write an essay (250 words minimum) on a topic of your choice or on one of the options listed below. This personal essay helps us to become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

I plug my cable into the keyboard and a crackle of electricity bursts out from the amplifier. Feedback from the guitar resonates within the room, the snare drum rumbles, and the sound of the bass pours out from the speakers. More crackling, then a short violin piece from The Four Seasons, played as we balance our volume levels.

"Mic check. One, two, three, check, check." All clear.
Here I am, about to perform on the stage of The Space, a multicultural arts venue in Hamden. Thick drops of sweat are forming on my face, and I can feel the blood rushing through my veins. In front of me, past my trusty keyboard and a tangle of cords, lies a pack of predators. They pierce me with their watchful glares, ready to pounce at my first mistake. Anyone would naturally be nervous at his or her first show, but my friend had pushed me into picking up an instrument and playing it only a month before. Figuring the new experience would be healthy, I was eager to comply. I was slightly mistaken: this last month involved learning as much as I could of this exotic contrivance of sound, while simultaneously mastering our band's music. Not exactly a comforting situation.

Our sound operator gives us the floor.
"Alright, welcome everyone. Our next band will be Flu Season, straight from right here in Hamden! You guys can start anytime."
Slowly, I move my shaking hands into playing position. A tingling sensation in my fingertips arises as the drumsticks count down to what could be a complete catastrophe.

Cut to the chorus: a few moments ago, my body was a rigid force, immovable by uneasiness. Strangely enough, the music compels me to give in to the influence of the beat. My body moves naturally; the harmonies and my limbs move in tandem with each other. I have always been prone to worry, to over-think things and try to find logical answers to them. Risks were, well, too risky. Here on stage, though, those binds don't exist. As the notes flood the room, my upper body moves up and down as my hands glide gracefully across the keyboard. The sensation that started in my fingers begins to course through my chest, my arms, and then my legs, rhythmically driving out the tension with each beat. Taking a cursory glance around the stage, I see that the music has engulfed my band mates and, more importantly, the crowd.

The song ends. I am again frozen, but this time with astonishment. I was given only a single month to prepare for the first show of my life, and my determination in the band room paid off. Onstage, the music became my catharsis, purging my fear and leaving me in musical ecstasy. Everything seemed to come naturally. It was not the logical part of my brain driving me to play this note after the next, but the pure combination of guitar, piano, drums, bass, and violin. The enthusiastic claps and cheers are enough to tell me I could conquer the impossible.

Strumming from the guitar starts and the bass pours again. I lift my hands to the keys for the second song, but fear isn't driving me, it's a newfound passion instead.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 28, 2008   #2
Droplets of sweat are forming on my face, and I can feel the blood rushing through my veins.

Anyone would naturally be nervous at his or her first show, and my friend had pushed me into picking up an instrument and playing it only a month before.

Risks were, well, too risky. Here on stage though, those binds don't exist.

The enthusiastic claps and cheers were enough to tell me I could conquer the impossible.

I like your last sentence!

:)


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