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Commonapp Essay: How my mom has influenced me


alyssamarie 2 / 2  
Oct 10, 2010   #1
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

I'm sure that this is not the most surprising or unique response, but when thinking of the person who has had the most significant influence on me, the name comes quickly: Mom. She hasn't had a significant influence on me simply because she raised me, but because of the circumstances she did it under and the things that she taught me along the way.

To put it simply, my mom is truly the most amazing woman I have ever met. She is always selfless, helpful, caring, and above all, loving. She has had some incredible setbacks in her life and one would never guess all that she has been through. No matter what was happening in her life, whether it was struggling to live on her own at a very young age, her parent's divorce, another job loss, or her own divorce; she always put others first and she never let anything get her down.

My mom lives by many great life quotes, some of which are even her own. These quotes all have played a major role in making me who I am today and continue to have a notable influence in my life.

"Be the star of your own life." I began hearing this quote when I was very young. It's what taught me to be independent, to follow my dreams, and to always do what I think is right. This is very significant because as a child and as a teenager, being a leader and being independent isn't always the easiest thing.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." This quote started as I got a little bit older and began to find out who I really was. It's what changed my career goals from being in the fashion industry to being in the medical field and it's what got me involved with doing and enjoying volunteer work in my community. In addition, it helped me to realize that I can't always be reliant on other people. If there's anything I want done, I need to be the person to do it.

"After the darkest storms come the brightest rainbows." This is a quote that came about after I faced a major setback in my life; my parent's divorce. My mom told me this repeatedly through the divorce and many times after, and it's a quote that I'll remember all my life and will help me overcome setbacks that I experience. I'll always know that no matter what I go through in life, I'll be able to deal with it and I'll most likely be better off in the end.

Overall, I owe a great deal of who I am today to my mom. In me, my mom has instilled an appetite for life and a passion that makes me want to do more, be more, cherish every single moment, and live my life to the fullest. I am a stronger person because of my mom, because through all of her struggles and hardships, she has never given up on hope for a better life. Even when a better life seems to be impossible, or hope seems to be a cloud on a distant horizon, my mom has sacrificed everything to show me what dedication and desire can earn in life. Now is my time to make use of everything that she has taught me and to really make her proud.

Editor1010 9 / 33  
Oct 12, 2010   #2
I am sure that this is not the most pick on surprising or unique response, but when thinking of the person who has had the most significant influence on me, the name comes quickly: Mom. reword this sentence its a run on

She hasn't had a significant influence on me simply because she has raised me, but because of the circumstances she did it under and the things that she taught me along the way. very poor wording and some what confusing.

Try... " She has not had a significant influence on my simply because she raised me, however, the circumstances she raised me under and the things she taught me along the way.

Please check some of my Father Essay :D
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Oct 14, 2010   #3
Your intro is nice, and it is interesting, but consider an alternative:
I'm sure that this is not the most surprising or unique response, but when thinking of the person who has had the most significant influence on me, the name comes quickly My mom hasn't had a significant influence on me simply because she raised me, but more importantly because of the circumstances she under which she did it and the lessons s he taught me along the way.

That way, you can add a sentence of explanation and also a great thesis statement to the end of that paragraph... a sentence that expresses the main idea of the essay in a powerful way.


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