Topic: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
The softening harmony of laughter not only gives me a state of comfort, but serenity as the source of this enjoyment happens to be my family. With the cheerful beams on everybody's faces and the whimsical jokes that are being spread--this makes being surrounded by my family the uttermost content place for me.
The primary contribution to my satisfaction is the fact that I can be my complete, delirious self around my house family or my relatives. The close relationship that attaches my family together brings me tranquility in the greatest form. Whether we're vacationing on lavish islands or situated in the living room having earnest discussions, the positive vibe in the environment is what gives me joy. My family has plenty of children which makes the bonding time even more enjoyable, since kids tend to be unconsciously hysterical. They mumble outlandish phrases and have the funniest facial expressions that grab everybody's attention. When I'm surrounded by my family, I laugh to the verge of tears, share memorable stories, and sometimes I receive a life-lesson that can impact my future. I think that's why I desire to constantly stay around a large group of people I love, because I pretty much live to laugh uncontrollably. Just the feeling of being cherished about gives me a hopeful outlook, like there are people that savor my existence just like I appreciate theirs.
On most occasions, local family visits our house. We usually enjoy a home-cooked meal together and have various discussions afterwards for hours on end. The endless conversations are vividly entertaining; I'm always interested on everyone's crazy experiences and the extravagant occurrences that are happening in their life. I like to be attentive towards any problems that arise as well as being there to support and assist them. That's what I adore: the ability to talk to my family with just about everything and anything while still having a remarkable time. What makes the family experience the most content one is the sense of awareness that they know I'll constantly be there for them, through any tragic or blissful incident. The feeling that they'll be around through whatever I need gives me an optimistic outlook.
One of the most crucial factors I learn while I'm encompassed with my family is that there isn't a group of people that will be more important to me. I've learned that they are the number one priority in my life, to the extent where I will do whatever it takes to maintain the close-affectionate relationship we all share. The family environment is so meaningful to me because it gives me closure on what my future motives are for my family in the future. I crave for a full family that's attached by the hip and is constantly enjoyable to be around, and people to create lively memories with. Being around my family is also meaningful because it sends me a daily reminder of how faithful and truly blessed I am to have such an enormous circle of relatives, and that idea makes me so strangely merry. There couldn't be any other place I'd rather be than in a place ringed around my closest kith and kin.
Your essay is very eloquent. But reading how close you are to your family makes me wonder how you would fare away from them in a college setting. Moreover, if you're going to write about your family, you need to get a little more specific. You bond, and laugh, and have interesting conversations. But what is your family like? What relatives are you referring to? What have you learned from them, and how have they shaped your personality, dreams, etc.?
Remember that the end-goal of application essays is to tell colleges why you will be a good addition to their schools; whatever you write about, you have to show this...
This is great feedback :) Hope you pay attention to the points that Didgeridoo has stressed upon.
My point is that this prompt circles around the word "PLACE", and here you do not refer to any particular place, but you talk about the people. I feel it is not a right approach. You need to have a particular place and it can be anywhere that you meet these precious people like the living area or the kitchen table in your house where your family gather.
