My community - children should help their families to reduce the burdens

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place with in it.

I might have grammar mistakes. please help me with it , what should I add more ?

Two years ago, my family and I came to America as refuges.as a low income Family we get money from the government to help us. after coming here,my father had some issues in his spine and was not able to work anymore.

Me as the only child for my family i had to take the responsibility with my mother to run the house. I had to reduce my wants and Focus only on my needs. I stopped buying a lot of clothes and I reduced the times I hang out with my friends. In addition to that, I had to work in a restaurant while I was studying.

As a result, children should help their families to reduce the burdens. I feel proud to do something useful for my family.

The grammar can be significantly improved but before you get to that, I think you should take a look at the question once again. The question asks for you to talk about your community, not your family. Just some ideas - you can talk about the country that you moved from or contrast the community you grew up in in your country and that of the one you live in now.

(: Good luck.

Yeah the grammar could be better but the idea is really good. What's the word limit? Maybe you describe the the difficulties you faced if you have space.

Diana, your main thrust in this essay should be to discuss your place in the immigrant community since that is the community you belong to. Your family travails have no relation to the prompt whatsoever. As a member of the immigrant community, you have a specific place in it. Discuss your place in that world. Or, to make things easier for you, why not discuss the group of friends that you have an what your position is in the group? Are you the leader of the pack? A mere follower? Adviser? Mother hen? What role do you play in that group? Tell the admissions officer about it and how it has affected your development as a person. That is one way of answering this prompt.