'the community is essential in life' - on essay response

Can somebody check my response for this scholarship questions and please give me some feedback.
Thanks
Here's the question and response
:
Tell how you plan to continue your service to the community while your in college and how you will link that with your academic program.

I believe that giving back to the community is essential in life. Helping those who are less fortunate gives me a sense of relief. I know that I will make a difference in someone's life and that gives me hope for a better tomorrow. Every step that we take, either be a pat on the back or a helping hand it can change a person's life, and in turn change the world. I plan to continue my service to my community during my collegiate career. I will do so by joining organizations and clubs that provide service to the community. I also have aspirations to implement a non-profit organization or club that will provide assistant and guidance to at risk youths. Seeing that I want to be a child psychologist I believe that this will perfectly link to my academic program. With the knowledge I will obtain from my courses, I will be able to understand why some people act out, I can then identify the problem and then find a way to help them improve their actions.

For short answers like this, you have to make every sentence count! Let's look at them individually:

I believe that giving back to the community is essential in life.

Helping those who are less fortunate gives me a sense of relief.

I know that I will make a difference in someone's life, and that gives me hope for a better tomorrow.

Every contribution we make, either giving a pat on the back or a helping hand, can change a person's life, and ultimately change the world.

I plan to continue my service to my community during my collegiate career by joining organizations and clubs that provide service to the community.

above, name specific clubs and organizations!

I also have aspirations to implement a non-profit organization or club that will provide assistant and guidance to at risk youths.

Seeing that I want to be a child psychologist I believe that this will perfectly link to my academic program.

With the knowledge I will obtain from my courses, I will be able to understand why some people act out, I can then identify the problem and then find a way to help them improve their actions.

This is well-written! You just need to research the school and say some specific things. Which groups of people do you want to help and how?

Wow Thanks so much :) your insight is much appreciate.

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