Is it essential for new residents to adopt the traditions and customs of local community?

FOLLOWING TRADITIONS

Topic: People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Here is my essay:
Many people argue that foreigners should try to adapt to local customs and traditions when they come to reside in a new country. Personally, I completely agree with this idea.

For a variety of reasons, newcomers will be likely to face numerous difficulties if they do not conform the norms of social behavior. Firstly, it will become nearly impossible for new residents to blend into native environment. For example, while in many countries the thumbs-up gesture is commonly used to signify a job well done, it becomes offensive when used in some countries such as Australia. Therefore, people should try to be aware of using such gesture in the right place in order not to make others feel frustrated or insulted. Secondly, recent immigrants might fall foul of the law if they do not respect the traditions and customs of host nation. In singapore, for instance, newcomers might commit an offence whenever they litter the street or spit gum in public places since those actions are deemed illegal here. As a consequence, those newcomers will be fined heavily and inevitably considered dirty or ill-mannered by local residents.

Apart from the concerns expressed above, I also believe that adopting residents' culture and customs brings considerable benefits to newcomers. One advantage is that local residents will be more welcoming because they feel that newcomers are showing respect to their culture. This might lead to greater integration and mutual understanding, which can help bridge the culture gap between people. Another benefit is the valuable experience which new immigrants will gain from enjoying local customs and traditions, enabling them to participate in the community life. By way of illustration, by attending national holidays and festivals of host country, newcomers will have a chance to completely immerse themselves in those activities and feel as if they belong in the new country. As a result, they will enhance their mutual understanding and avoid social isolation.

In conclusion, I support the notion that it is essential for new residents to adopt the traditions and customs of locals in order to achieve better integration within the local community.

I hope you guys can give me some feedback on my essay. Thanks in advance! :D

Overall, this essay is well written. You cover all the questions from the prompt given. Also, you can use some vocabulary related to the topic being discussed. Sentence structures show accuracy, as you can mix between simple and complex sentences. However, some points need to be improved. Here is some feedback:

1/ Let me start with the first paragraph. In the first sentence of this paragraph, you have successfully paraphrased the prompt, but sadly the following sentence,


shows an empty idea. Were I you, then I would say exactly the reason why I state my claim rather than simply stating "I agree".

2/ Instead of talking about how native speakers take advantages of this issue


you need to focus on what visitors gain if they are following locals customs. Putting more concern on locals makes your ideas side track.

3/ As the prompt is asking you to discuss


it is always good to narrow down your subject of discussion. You can discuss how international students or permanent residents adopt local culture rather than


as the idea tends to be overgeneralized.

Thanks, hope this helps :D

Eddy Suaib, Kampung Inggris Pare

@eddies
Thank you for your detailed feedback, I really appreciated it! :D However, could you please give me an example of your 3rd point.

@anhtu96

I think the contributor means that you have to specify instead of using 'people', since you are talking about the foreign people, you can use international students or nonnative or immigrants and how they will adopt to the culture.

I do agree that this is a well-written essay, good job with inputting ideas and examples of how important it is to foreign people to learn the local's culture. 👍🏼

I'm curious to learn though, that why is a thumbs-up sign a bad gesture in Australia?