Computers are ever-changing. I want to develop software that can make people's life easier.

Discuss your reasons for pursuing the major/academic program selected.

Computers transformation

Computers are ever-changing. They have evolved since the time, first computer was introduced to the world by Charles Babbage. In future, perhaps, computer technology may change the definition of Human Being what we perceive today, as computers will become an integral part of every Human life. I too want to be the part of this revolutionary change.

I was first introduced to the computers in grade 6, when I joined Vidyagyan. At that young age, moving texts and animations in Power Point fascinated me. I loved working on computers and playing games, but I never realised that it would become my love in future. It was also an ocean of knowledge and surprises as I learnt many new things.

I grew up to like Computer Science even more, when I won 1st prize in Inter House Web Designing Competition in the school. My interest grew up as I grew up. I took Computer Science i.e. C++ in my grade 12 with Physics, Chemistry, Maths. Computer Science taught me to dig out patience in me as I have to try many times to code up a program. I really get a 'aha' moment when I solve any code.

I with my friends and teachers developed Voting System which derived out the old method of Ballot Paper voting in the school. I created some games like- Snake and ladder, Quizzes- which motivated me further to develop something that can help the society. I want to develop software that can ease people. Sometimes, absurdness reaches to its height and it has no limits. And clearly these absurd ideas, like mine to develop a software which could show the other earth nurturing its talent in the universe, will get wings to fly when met with right path. Therefore, being part of a computer science program in your university will allow my imagination, knowledge, and ideas to propagate and nurture the hidden streak in me.

If the title above is the prompt, I might say that you just partially answered it. This is because the prompt asked you to write your REASONS for pursuing the selected program and NOT about your past story. You didn't even mention what kind of academic program that you are talking about. It seems implicit to the reader. The point is, you need to mention them clearly and explicitly. You can just simply say that you want to enroll/pursue Computer Science because you have passion since you were child. Then, you can explain the past story and valuable experience that relate to Computer Science. This would make the selection committee consider you as a straightforward person. You describe everything clearly without any hesitation or talk too long for nothing.

In addition, try to come up with something different. Don't you realize that your writing pattern is predictable and repetitive? Take a closer look on the second, third, and last paragraph. You started your paragraph by always using "I". Varying your response or paragraphing structure would be beneficial towards your essay itself.

Himanshu, while I admire your previous experience with computers and your desire to share that with the reviewer, it is important that you present a more current motivation for your desire to study and major in Computer Science. Look to build your essay upon a summarized foundation of the background of your interest in computers. Your reasons should be clearly depicted in a manner that the reviewer will not only see your motivation for computer studies, but also you purpose for wishing to pursue this major. Consider your computer foundation.

Do you want to become a game software developer in the future? Then discuss your computer science major with an emphasis on game software development. If it is cyber security that you are interested in, then pursue that angle in relation to computer software development / computer science. Or are you interested in using Big Data for some specific purpose upon your graduation? Your motivations and reasons are as endless as the uses of computers and the fields of study that it branches out into.

Before you can actually write this essay, you first need to figure out what kind of computer scientist you want to be. That way you can discuss the proper reasons or motivations that you have for pursuing the computer science major.

@vghimanshu2

Good Himanshu .
U tried on a good note.
But this is more of a general essay.It does not answer the question picked by u very specifically.
But don't panic U can correct it.
Remember Every writing is a re-writing.

Sir it is a Supplementary write up which I have to submit. Its word limit is 250 words.
As per your suggestions @icanphants89, I have made some changes, Sir I want more elaboration on my mistakes.
Thanks in advance.

Himanshu, I doubt the relevance of above statement in your essay regarding your passion for Computers, since first computer wasn't introduced by Charles Babbage . In fact, he just invented a computing mechanism behind then and now COMPUTERS . So, I'd rather omit such controversial ownership of inventions, patents, etc. on application essays.

I agree with @sus_007

I also have a same essay about computer. There are lots kinds of computer and Charles Babbage is just the one who show us the way to create the nowadays computer. If you don't exactly, you should bring the entire quote from website (such as Wikipedia) and remember the source of that quote too. That will help readers can understand clearly about your essay.