this is my rough draft for Carnegie Mellon, which needs A LOT of help.... It would be awesome if anyone could read it and give me comments or corrections :)
** Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know.
Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
'Congratulations! You Won! Play Again? (Y/N)'
The same old screen appeared on my monitor as I stopped clicking. After a quick break for a cup of milk, I pressed "Y" and started to click insanely again. As a child, I always played the game called, "Battleship" on my white, big and old desktop. Having played the game for hundreds of thousands of time, I always beat all the stages easily. One day, I got bored with tedious stages, and asked my dad how to make my own stage.
"Well, you have to be a game developer to do that" he replied.
"How do you become a game developer?" I asked.
It's complicated, but first, you have to study computer science."
Making my own Battleship stage was the only reason for my wanting to study computer science , but as I grew up, I started to realize that my reason for computer science is more than just game programming; I want to learn more about this mystical study that revolutionized the world, and develop breaking technologies that can push the boundaries and improve the quality of our lives. I consider computer science as the most abstract field of engineering but probably the most relevant in modern society and I want to use this sublime paradox of computer science to help moving all disciplines into a new "golden age".
Few months ago, I went to visit Carnegie Mellon campus and I saw my opportunity there. I participated in a program called, "sleeping bag weekend" where I get to stay with current Carnegie Mellon student for a day. In there, I met Edward, who showed me his love and ardor for his school; he told me about student life, Carnegie Mellon's achievements in computer science, and its diverse programs which give students a chance to approach to same topic in different angles. I was fascinated by the unique studying environment and all the opportunities that I could get from the school. Now, as I graduate from high school, I'm ready to sail my boat out of my computer screen and dive into the sea of computer science, and since Carnegie Mellon University provides the most ideal environment for me, I'm turning my wheel towards it.
** Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know.
Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.
'Congratulations! You Won! Play Again? (Y/N)'
The same old screen appeared on my monitor as I stopped clicking. After a quick break for a cup of milk, I pressed "Y" and started to click insanely again. As a child, I always played the game called, "Battleship" on my white, big and old desktop. Having played the game for hundreds of thousands of time, I always beat all the stages easily. One day, I got bored with tedious stages, and asked my dad how to make my own stage.
"Well, you have to be a game developer to do that" he replied.
"How do you become a game developer?" I asked.
It's complicated, but first, you have to study computer science."
Making my own Battleship stage was the only reason for my wanting to study computer science , but as I grew up, I started to realize that my reason for computer science is more than just game programming; I want to learn more about this mystical study that revolutionized the world, and develop breaking technologies that can push the boundaries and improve the quality of our lives. I consider computer science as the most abstract field of engineering but probably the most relevant in modern society and I want to use this sublime paradox of computer science to help moving all disciplines into a new "golden age".
Few months ago, I went to visit Carnegie Mellon campus and I saw my opportunity there. I participated in a program called, "sleeping bag weekend" where I get to stay with current Carnegie Mellon student for a day. In there, I met Edward, who showed me his love and ardor for his school; he told me about student life, Carnegie Mellon's achievements in computer science, and its diverse programs which give students a chance to approach to same topic in different angles. I was fascinated by the unique studying environment and all the opportunities that I could get from the school. Now, as I graduate from high school, I'm ready to sail my boat out of my computer screen and dive into the sea of computer science, and since Carnegie Mellon University provides the most ideal environment for me, I'm turning my wheel towards it.