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'a connection with my father' - BYU-Idaho Entrance Essay



geebs5 4 / 6  
Feb 1, 2012   #1
A) Describe a setback you have encountered in your life. Explain how you have handled the situation and what you have learned from it.

I've never really had a connection with my father. He abandoned my mother and I when I was merely seven. His evanesce hurt me, but not as much as his actions did. For years I prayed for his return, but it never happened. It took me years to realize his disappearance was a blessing. Afterwards, my mother became increasingly vigilant, always shielding me from the world. Although it hurt not having a father, that lack of love drew me closer to my true father above. My bond with him has grown immensely, my testimony rocketed as my faith and trust in him grew. To me prayer is the most important blessing because it allows us to have our own special connection with God. Heavenly Father is my most beloved friend, mentor, and leader. He has brought me comfort in my time of need, joy in my time of sorrow, and more blessings than I could count. I now have a more optimistic view of life and greet each trial with a delightful smirk because I now know that regardless of what obstacle may cross my path, I can and will overcome it with the help of my Father.

Please help with any grammar errors or with anything that could help improve my essay! (: thank you

hotblondenerd 1 / 3  
Feb 1, 2012   #2
My bond with him has grown immensely AND my testimony... THE heavenly father... THIS PART: "Afterwards, my mother became increasingly vigilant, always shielding me from the world" is unrelated to the rest of your response. i like it, nicely done
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 9, 2012   #3
He abandoned my mother and me when I was merely seven.

My bond with Him has grown immensely, and my testimony rocketed as my faith and trust in H im grew. ---I'm pretty sure it should be a capital 'H' when writing about God. (Not sure though.)

To me, prayer is the most important blessing because it allows us to have our own special connection with God.

I now have a more optimistic view of life, and greet each trial with a delightful smirk because...

Good luck in school and have fun!

:)


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