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I consider myself a global citizen. I am fluent in both Chinese and English - NYU application



krcheng 5 / 9  
Dec 24, 2014   #1
NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)

Though my birth certificate is from Hong Kong (the city I inhabited for 15 years), my school ID is from San Francisco (my current city), and I am fluent in both Chinese and English, I consider myself a global citizen. While Western and Asian cultures have been my main influences so far, I seek to expand my worldview and immerse myself among diverse people, which I'll be able to do at the NYU.

I have always been drawn to unique places and people, partly because I've lived in bustling cities and am a complex person. At fifteen, I decided to study abroad in San Francisco, entering a new level of responsibility and independence. I joined the Lowell High Forensics Society, where I researched and debated various issues and current events, from conflicts in the Middle East to campaign finance reform.

But learning about foreign issues wasn't enough, and during the summer after junior year, I embarked on a service trip to Nicaragua, where I was immersed in a different culture and befriended amazing people. The simple lives of the Nicaraguans I met were a stark contrast to the wealth of San Francisco, and put a face to my debates about humanitarian aid and income inequality. I remember talking to one lady Francesca who worked at the dump. She gave a inspiring speech about family and love. It made me realize that you don't need to have acheived great things to change other peoples lives, a simply word or two can do the trick as well. The trip was one month long, but it wasn't enough. It inspired me to continue exploring other cultures and helping others, to expand my horizons and impact the world in a positive way.

When I heard about the abu dabi exchange program from a friend, I was estatic. I would be able to travel open my mind and become one step closer to a global citizen. The thought of living in a foreign country for a whole semester and fully being immersed into another culture excites me. I will gain a broader perstpective.

I hope the next stop on my journey will be for four years at the NYU, where I can contribute my individual experiences and personality to the school and exchange ideas with peers and professors from different countries, cultures, and belief systems. I will cast the light of my knowledge and absorb the light of my classmates and teachers, so that there will be light and diversity all around.

rtan05 5 / 32  
Dec 24, 2014   #2
Your content is nice- it's very straightforward.

i suggest you change your intro though because it seems like you're too proud of your heritage which is edging towards pompous

maybe like " I had been born and raised in Hong Kong for 15 years before I moved to San Francisco. ( if you continue to speak chinese at home, you could mention that rather than saying your fluent in speaking)
xdx24 3 / 8  
Dec 24, 2014   #3
Well there are some typos:
[quote = krcheng]I would be able to travel open my mind and become one step closer to a global citizen.[/quote] ---> I would be able to travel, open my mind and take one step closer to a global citizen.

[quote = krcheng]I will gain a broader perstpective .[/quote] I will gain a profounder pespective .

[quote =krcheng]I was estatic [/quote] I was ecstatic .

I think your essay is decent, good luck! :)


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