"The Core Curriculum": my Why Columbia essay

If there's one thing that appeals to me to Columbia University, it's The Core Curriculum. By serving as an intensive introduction to topics ranging from western literature to philosophy to frontiers of science, The Core would broaden my perspective on the key questions facing our society and our world. I have always been a curious person, and learning about such a diverse set of subjects would introduce me to all sorts of new ideas that would further encourage my spirit of intellectual inquiry. What's unique about The Core is that it integrates all students, no matter what their major, in the pursuit of shared knowledge. Being in an environment where everybody is thinking from different angles and contributing their individual thoughts appeals to me because I would learn about the subject in a personal, multi-dimensional way. The way I see it, The Core is about learning on the deepest level. It's not just about learning about a subject, it's about developing the knowledge and skills to make a difference in the world; about interacting with others and being part of a community, and about exploring the most important questions we face as humans. The Core Curriculum represents the kind of educational experience I am looking for; one that will lead me on a journey of intellectual exploration and transformation, and that will equip me to live a meaningful life long after graduation.

Western should be capitalized.

" The Core wouldwill broaden my perspective on the key questions facing our society and our world." Remember, this is your future! I think it sounds a lot more powerful if would = will throughout the essay.

Some of your stuff sounds like it was taken directly from the 'about The Core' on Columbia's website, especially how you end the essay ([...], and that will equip me to lead a meaningful life long after graduation.")

Grammatically it seems pretty sound to me, and the only thing I could suggest conceptually is perhaps personalizing it more. Do you have a dream for the world? For society? If so, share it with Columbia and explain how The Core will help you put it into action.

PS If you could look over my EC Debate essay, that'd be great. Thanks!

I agree with the above- comment. You are a stronger writer. I am sure Columbia will like your insight about their CORE.
Can you please help with mine if you have time?