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Cornell : School of Industrial and Labor Relations Essay



pangarebonitao 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2011   #1
School of Industrial and Labor Relations: (maximum of 500 words)
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. In your essay please address how the ILR curriculum will help you fulfill these interests and your long-term goals.

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My life begins in a different world. Greetings from Japan - oh wait a second. I'm not fully Japanese. Although I was born around Tokyo, I'm a Brazilian - And yes, I play soccer and like bossa nova. At same time I was educated and can fully communicate in Japanese, official language at home is Portuguese. Although countries geographically in opposite side of the world, so much in common.

Adding more diversity, I've lived with a Korean community for a short period of time that helped to brush my "hanguro" and learn why diplomatic relations between Japan and Korean can become very sensitive depending which side tells the story.

Finally, since my first grade all my summer vacations I spent studying in the US are paying off. Not being a native English speaker poses some difficulties, but this is just another long river I have to cross.

Without noticing, throughout these years I have been working similarly to a civil engineer, I have been building bridges for myself and for others. Building bridges to connect people. Building bridges to allow interaction, trust and new businesses.

Presumably bridges are good when they are strong connecting distant and complex points. Worldwide affairs such as economic crisis, climate changes, epidemics and BRICS do require multifaceted, robust and interactive bridges.

International business and technologies have been constantly changing the ways people interact from all aspects around the world and I presume that just a strong academic structure education program can help me to understand the world's complexity. Social sciences, economics, statistics, religion, law, liberal arts, history etc - all in one.

Cornell's ILR's curriculum offers me practical applications in international relations as well academic exposure. I am looking forward to actively participating in the community of students, scholars and practitioners. Finally, Cornell is among the great American universities that provide great opportunity to tailor my curriculum to towards to my career interests.

With a dedicated office established to develop international educational exchange and promote cross-cultural awareness, I have no doubt Cornell's commitment to assist international students like myself to construct more worldwide bridge.

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Grateful for any suggestions

makman09 9 / 86  
Dec 29, 2011   #2
I'm going to be honest with you, your essay didn't impress me at all. You go all over the place with your thoughts which are incoherent and have not transitions at all.

You talk about where you're from, your diversity, and your fascination with bridges, then you talk about how Cornell will help you, but it seems like you're wasting words and don't answer the prompt.

I have no idea what your interested in, how they evolved, and how they appeal to you, and what Cornell can do for you.
Elaborate on what your interest is, what is their foundation, and how did they appeal to you.

You have a lot of revision and you're going to have to do it quickly because deadline is coming up quickly. I'd be willing reread your essay again and critique it.

Good luck!

Could you give my Princeton essay a read to return the favor.
OP pangarebonitao 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2011   #3
makman09
Thanks Makman.
Let me take a look at yours.


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