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'courses offered at Stony are really challenging' - Why Stony Brook?

mohamed459 9 / 27  
Jan 14, 2012   #1
Hi, I'd appreciate if someone could look over the essay and check for grammar mistakes. Also do you think I answered the question well? All feed back welcomed and thank you in advance

Prompt: Briefly describe why you want to attend Stony Brook
______________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________

There are numerous reasons that Stony Brook University appeals to me. Stony Brook's friendly environment, low tuition, and campus life are just some of things that come to mind when I think of Stony. The main reasons, though, that Stony Brook University appeals to me is because of its challenging coursework, and proximity to NYC. My friends that go to Stony tell me that the courses offered at Stony are really challenging, and upon hearing that, I was happy because if I want to get into medical school and be able to get through it, then I will need no less than challenging courses. The University also has a reputation of being one of the best research institutes across the nation, and this assures me that Stony is the choice for me. I am also happy that Stony Brook is close to New York City. My whole family is in New York City, and them knowing that I am not that far from them helps them not to worry. Also this makes it easier for me to visit them whenever I want to. These are things that I look for in an ideal university, and Stony brook university perfectly fits the description.
pookielookie - / 3  
Jan 14, 2012   #2
you repeat twice that you like who close Stony is to NYC!!
singh955 7 / 36  
Jan 14, 2012   #3
The essay was very basic to be the least. Also, in the conclusion, try to avoid "these are the reasons why.." and try to add something unique and interesting.

sorry if I sound harsh, Just looking at it the AO's would look at it.
OP mohamed459 9 / 27  
Jan 15, 2012   #4
ok thanks. I'll edit it right now

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