Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 3


"Crack!" - my personal essay



yyhh94 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2011   #1
As the series of subtle beeps began to crescendo and echo through my head at 4:00 a.m., my alarm clock signaled me of my impending departure. I slowly limped towards the bathroom, trying to adjust my eyes in the dim light, and said to myself, "Why am I doing this?" For a split second, I thought about abandoning this mission because I was hesitant on going to such a foreign place, a sugar plantation field in the outskirts of Dominican Republic. I wanted to help those in need but I questioned whether or not I can make an impact. After all, I was only 14 years old at that time.

As the Crew and I arrived at the bateyes, I became speechless even though I had seen pictures of the conditions in these areas. The people had no adequate hosing and lived without even having the basic necessities such as medicine, electricity, and plumbing. I felt my heart sink, and a crater-like feeling formed in the place where it should be. I wanted to do everything for them but, sadly, there was a limit to how much we can do. It was not until moments later I arrived at the bateyes that I rethought my motive for participating on this mission after meeting a particular person named Melanie.

At one point, I was walking through the field with my sandals on when I stepped on something, in retrospect, what I wished to be mud. I was searching for water or tissues when a girl, who looked around my age came up to me laughing and said something I could not understand. "Mo kontan monne zwin u," I said looking embarrassed. This translates to "nice to meet you," a phrase that I used the most due to my limited vocabulary. The people there spoke Spanish with a mix of Creole, and I found that my years of Spanish I learned in school were not much of help. Unexpectedly, the girl raised her leg and started kicking the grass. I was confused and all I did was stare but after I studied her face and matched few of her cryptic words with English, I finally realized that she was telling me to wipe my sandals on the grass. I burst out a laugh and did what she did. After I desperately cleaned the horrible stench out of my sandals, I strangely felt relief.

Moments later, I heard a "Crack!" She came back and offered me a piece of sugarcane she had cut. Strangely after that incident, our short acquaintance grew into a lasting friendship. We introduced each other to our cultures as she taught me some hand games and I taught her some hip-hop dances. The language barrier was not a problem between us because of the use of our body languages and funny gestures.

Suddenly, I came to an epiphany that my mission was not to heal the sick or uplift them from poverty, but to give these people a sense of happiness and comfort. I learned we are not doctors or nurses but we can be healers. My encounter with that girl helped me realize that a sense of comfort in the midst of troubles can provide powerful relief. I realized that even by spending time with the people at the bateyes, I can make a lasting impression and give them hope. Admittedly, this mission trip caused me to change my mindset on my future missions and helped expand my global awareness on poverty.

ChavCool93 1 / 4  
Dec 31, 2011   #2
Overall, I think you did an amazing job with the essay. It has a very nice flow to it and in a way, it grasps my attention and I want to kep reading it which is a good thing. I think that the most appealing thing about it was how you were in a foreign country, expecting something and having your own thoughts, but left with a different impression. Clearly, you took something great from your trip. It just flows very nicely that it's easy to picture it in ones mind. Its short, but with a lot of value. Best of luck to you!
wahmed 4 / 9  
Dec 31, 2011   #3
The essay has a proper flow and shows your experience in the foreign country. well done


Home / Undergraduate / "Crack!" - my personal essay
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳