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CUHK, planning to study Public Health in college, China experience ("why essay")



mimiQ 5 / 10  
Jan 4, 2011   #1
This is a very important personal statement for applying to the Chinese University of Hongkong.
I look forward to any feedback. I'll appreciate your help. THANKS!

Prompt: Please briefly state the reasons for applying and provide other information which you consider will be of interest to the University (use separate sheet if necessary).

A year ago, I came to the United States of America as a high school junior through an international exchange program, which, eventually, became one of my greatest life-time experiences. This program has provided me a unique opportunity me to know individual teachers and students of Merrol Hyde Magnet School and local residents of Tennessee. From them, I have learned a lot about American culture. The experience of cultural diversity has not only affected me as a person, but also changed the way in which I view the world. In every way, the exchange program has exposed me to a totally different and exciting new world by offering me a variety of choices and opportunities as I began to explore my role in society.

I'm planning to study Public Health in college. The fact that many Americans volunteer their time to help others has strongly influenced my decision to give back to the community in a variety of positive ways. I want to help people and I enjoy serving others. In my opinion, Public Health is a dynamic and rewarding field that offers great personal fulfillment by working towards improving hundreds and thousands of people's health and well being. I hope one day I can use what I learn in college to further the progress that my native country, China, and other developing nations are currently making. Hong Kong, considered as one of the most prestigious regions in the world with remarkable diversity, has not only played an indispensable role in business trading but also made great contributions in both social and scientific development. Studying in HK will enable me to experience the advanced public health management of the city, while most likely will allow me to have more opportunities to take practical research in Mainland China.

During the summer of 2010, I visited the Chinese University of Hong Kong. In addition to the all the exceptional academic programs that CUHK offers, I am aware that the university is particularly well-known for its excellence in teaching and its many distinguished accomplishments in research. The School of Public Health not only provides numerous enrichment activities for students, but also works closely with various important and celebrated institutions around the world. The extensive international links will serve as a great ladder for me to the broader perspective of Public Health on a global level. It is my inclination to face demanding challenges and heightened competition by being one of the diversified elite students learning from each other. The convergence of different views will help expand my horizons and deepen my understanding on current health issues faced by China as well as by other countries. All in all, I truly believe that Chinese University of Hong Kong, recognized as one of the best universities in the world, will provide me an excellent academic education and help me lay a solid foundation for my future career.

Liebe 1 / 524  
Jan 4, 2011   #2
lot about American culture. The experience of cultural diversity

^
Hi. Personally, if it is just American culture, how is there cultural diversity? Surely diversity refers to a range?

In every way, the exchange program has exposed me to a totally different and exciting new world by offering me a variety of choices and opportunities as I began to explore my role in society.

^^Remove

I want to help people and I enjoy serving others.

^Examples can help

Overall, I think it is decent. Some work can make it even better
OP mimiQ 5 / 10  
Jan 8, 2011   #3
Thank you Liebe! :)

I reorganized my essay and deleted some flattering sentences. not too many changes, but i wonder if this would make the essay flow better.


I'm planning to study Public Health in the Chinese University of Hong Kong. In my opinion, Public Health is a dynamic and rewarding field that offers great personal fulfillment by working towards improving hundreds and thousands of people's health and well being. I want to help people and I enjoy serving others. I hope one day I can use what I learn in college to further the progress that my native country, China, and other developing nations are currently making. Hong Kong, considered as one of the regions in the world with remarkable cultural diversity, has made great contributions in both social and scientific development. Studying in HK will enable me to experience the advanced public health management of the city, while most likely will allow me to have more opportunities to take practical research in Mainland China.

A year ago, I came to the United States of America as a high school junior through an international exchange program, which eventually became one of my greatest life time experiences. This program has provided me a unique opportunity me to know individual teachers and students of Merrol Hyde Magnet School and local residents of the State of Tennessee. From them, I have learned a lot about the American culture. In every way, the exchange program has exposed me to a totally different and exciting new world by offering me a variety of choices and opportunities as I began to explore my role in society. The fact that many Americans volunteer their time to help others has strongly influenced my decision to give back to the community in a variety of positive ways.

During the summer of 2010, I visited the Chinese University of Hong Kong with my family. In all the exceptional academic programs offered by CUHK, the School of Public Health provides numerous enrichment activities for students, and works closely with many important and celebrated institutions around the world. The extensive international links will serve as a great ladder for me to the broader perspective of Public Health in a global level. It is my inclination to face demanding challenges and heightened competition by being one of the diversified elite students and learning from each other. The convergence of different views will help to expand my horizon and to deepen my understandings on the current health issues in China as well as in other countries.

I truly believe that the Chinese University of Hong Kong will provide me an excellent academic education and help me lay a solid foundation for my future career.


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