I do not believe in "narrowing my focus." My curiosity simply does not allow it. My curiosity is the type of curiosity that constantly overpowers my discretion with a certain scary consistency. It gives me insight into what I could know and relief from the perpetual school derived fear of what I should know. It breaks open paths for me to travel. It unfurls paths that are blackened and blanketed in thorns, paths that have dim roads, empty and gray. It exposes paths that are neither here nor there. It divulges paths that are brilliant with flowers blossoming, butterflies blooming from gilded cocoons, trees and bushes pregnant with the fruits of their winter labor. It reveals paths that have no end and paths that are infinitely small. My curiosity gives me infinite directions to take. Due to this, I am bequeathed a certain yet unfathomable infinite potential and a responsibility to direct my focus but never to narrow it.
I would like to be a rollercoaster engineer, a pathologist, a paleontologist, a cosmologist, an anthropologist, a writer, a poet, a ballet dancer, a mathemagician (an excellent mathematician), a teacher, a Trader Joe's store employee, an inventor, a cardboard box designer, a physicist, an archaeologist, a literary critic, a cobbler, an aeronautical engineer, and a doll maker. I want to be someone close to the community, someone who can help people, someone people feel comfortable talking to, someone whose door is always open, someone whose only weakness is her unceasing love for people. I want to be someone worth becoming, someone worth the trials of being, the pains of failure, the hurt of falling, and the heartbreak of my mortality, to enjoy the product of my labors, the sweet fruits of my success as primarily a human being and secondarily as a woman.
It is possible for me to be all these things even in small ways. I am no less an aeronautical engineer when designing paper planes in calculus or when building helicopters for the army. I am no less of a Mother Teresa when giving a homeless man my lunch or when mortgaging my home to open a food bank. I am no less brilliant teaching fifth graders physical science than teaching particle physics at MIT. The principles and their applications are the same regardless. The scale of the motion is irrelevant to the motion itself because all motion is a procession, a procession that will render an equal but opposite reaction every time. Each action reaction pair is an inception of motion that is brilliant beyond comparison. An attempt to compare futile because there is no quantitative measure for the level of beauty or potency of an action.
Walt Whitman in "I Sing the Body Electric" said, "All is a procession, the universe is a procession with measured and beautiful motion." I am composed of matter from the universe: the universe is inside of me. Therefore, I have the "moved beautiful motion" of the universe inside of me. I am a brilliant scarlet streak painted on a crisp canvas of a sunset sky. I am that pensive silver that protrudes through that. I am a royal blue that awakens our sensibilities. The universe is composed of me just as I of it. The universe composes and is composed of everything and anything.
I am bound by the same principles the universe is. I am as boundless as the universe, and there lies the inception of my potential. I am situated on a precipice in the universe harnessing my energy, waiting for my implosion, waiting for my potentiality to become kinetic. Waiting for my big bang and for the universe to be born inside of me so I can become as unbounded as the galaxies and worlds that surrounding me. I can be everything, anything, just as the universe can. I just need a place, a school, a college, a mountain, a burning bush, a library, a mosque, a temple, a shrine, a monastery, everything, anything to give me the resources to help direct my curiosity. Everything, anything to teach me how to accept responsibility for my inherent infinite potential.
I would like to be a rollercoaster engineer, a pathologist, a paleontologist, a cosmologist, an anthropologist, a writer, a poet, a ballet dancer, a mathemagician (an excellent mathematician), a teacher, a Trader Joe's store employee, an inventor, a cardboard box designer, a physicist, an archaeologist, a literary critic, a cobbler, an aeronautical engineer, and a doll maker. I want to be someone close to the community, someone who can help people, someone people feel comfortable talking to, someone whose door is always open, someone whose only weakness is her unceasing love for people. I want to be someone worth becoming, someone worth the trials of being, the pains of failure, the hurt of falling, and the heartbreak of my mortality, to enjoy the product of my labors, the sweet fruits of my success as primarily a human being and secondarily as a woman.
It is possible for me to be all these things even in small ways. I am no less an aeronautical engineer when designing paper planes in calculus or when building helicopters for the army. I am no less of a Mother Teresa when giving a homeless man my lunch or when mortgaging my home to open a food bank. I am no less brilliant teaching fifth graders physical science than teaching particle physics at MIT. The principles and their applications are the same regardless. The scale of the motion is irrelevant to the motion itself because all motion is a procession, a procession that will render an equal but opposite reaction every time. Each action reaction pair is an inception of motion that is brilliant beyond comparison. An attempt to compare futile because there is no quantitative measure for the level of beauty or potency of an action.
Walt Whitman in "I Sing the Body Electric" said, "All is a procession, the universe is a procession with measured and beautiful motion." I am composed of matter from the universe: the universe is inside of me. Therefore, I have the "moved beautiful motion" of the universe inside of me. I am a brilliant scarlet streak painted on a crisp canvas of a sunset sky. I am that pensive silver that protrudes through that. I am a royal blue that awakens our sensibilities. The universe is composed of me just as I of it. The universe composes and is composed of everything and anything.
I am bound by the same principles the universe is. I am as boundless as the universe, and there lies the inception of my potential. I am situated on a precipice in the universe harnessing my energy, waiting for my implosion, waiting for my potentiality to become kinetic. Waiting for my big bang and for the universe to be born inside of me so I can become as unbounded as the galaxies and worlds that surrounding me. I can be everything, anything, just as the universe can. I just need a place, a school, a college, a mountain, a burning bush, a library, a mosque, a temple, a shrine, a monastery, everything, anything to give me the resources to help direct my curiosity. Everything, anything to teach me how to accept responsibility for my inherent infinite potential.