dance programs in private studios, Macaulay Essay

I feel like I'm missing something, but I have no idea what to write anymore. Any criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Prompt: Discuss some issue of local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. (500 words or less)

In a world where education encompasses children's daily lives, a form of expression is vital. Seeing this, schools have instituted a great number of programs that allow a child to express themselves through music and art. While these two forms of expression are well distributed in school, dance programs are almost non-existent. As a student of the public school system lucky enough to have had a dance teacher, I feel that having courses like dance is not only valuable, but necessary.

What is so great about dance is that it holds no boundaries. Whether you're six years old or sixty years old, if you have the courage, you can dance. Likewise, language and territorial barriers do not inhibit dance because in essence, dance tells a story through the body, and that language is universal. Ever since I was exposed to ballet, jazz, and hip hop, I feel that I can freely express my emotions through dancing. When I hear the music, everything starts to fade away and I forget all my troubles and worries. It is as if a sort of freedom washes over and I can empty the stress and problems I have. If I had not been exposed to dance, this world of unconstraint would not be possible.

Many teenagers today are struggling to find a forum to channel their emotions and without a way, many become lost. By implementing more dance programs, more underprivileged kids will be able to find a better way to realize their stress and ultimately enable them to stay off the streets by giving them something positive to do rather than turning to drug use or gangs.

Because of the lack of dance programs, people like Nigel Lythgoe and Alivn Ailey have started foundations like the Dizzy Feet Foundation and Alivn Ailey Dance Foundation, respectively, which sponsors dance programs in private studios. However, they can not do this alone. The government must start funding more money into art programs so that the children of the future have the opportunities to grow and discover what it is that they like.

Need a stronger opening sentence In a world where education encompasses children's daily lives, a form of expression is vital. Seeing this, schools have instituted a great number of programs that allow a childchildren to express themselves through music and art. While these two forms of expression are well distributed in school, dance programs are almost non-existent. As a student of the public school system lucky enough to have had a dance teacher, I feel that having courses likesuch as dance isare not only valuable, but necessary.

What is so great about dance is that it holds no boundaries. Whether you're six years old or sixty years old, if you have the courage, you can dance. Likewise, language and territorial barriers do not inhibit dance because in essence, dance tells a story through the body, and that language is universal. Ever since I was exposed to ballet, jazz, and hip hop, I feel that I can freely express my emotions through dancing. When I hear the music, everything starts to fade away and I forget all my troubles and worries. It is as if a sort of freedom washes over and I can empty the stress and problems I have. If I had not been exposed to dance, this world of unconstraint would not be possible.

Many teenagers today are struggling to find a forum to channel their emotions and without a way, many become lost. By implementing more dance programs, more underprivileged kids will be able to find a better way to realize their stress and ultimately enable them to stay off the streets by giving them something positive to do rather than turning to drug use or gangs.

Because of the lack of dance programs, people like Nigel Lythgoe and Alivn Ailey have started foundations like the Dizzy Feet Foundation and Alivn Ailey Dance Foundation, respectively, which sponsors dance programs in private studios. However, they can not do this alone. The government must start funding more money into art programs so that the children of the future have the opportunities to grow and discover what it is that they like.

ok well it sounds like a good essay which you need to expand on more.

add "meat"
tell negatives about not having music

What it is missing is a solid thesis, but it has potential to be very good! You seem to be making an argument about a shortage of dance programs, but actually, this sounds strange. What you are really getting at is a shortage of education, with dance being part of education.

Add a few strong sentences about the importance of education n developing regions, not only education but complete education that includes the arts and self-expression. Use dance as your unique approach to this powerful topic: the need to provide education to children everywhere.