Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city or town. How has the world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (500 words)
I have prepared two esays..give me your comments on both...thanx in advance..
I had always wanted to dance,ever since I was a kid. It was one of the few things I was definite about pursuing,one of the few things that I always knew I wanted to do. For me dance is not just about expressing my emotions ,but it is more about the movement, the form and the lines. Dance needn't have any meaning for me ,it is the beauty, passion and grace that are more important . When I dance the sense of fluidity and balance I experience gives me such an exhilarating high that it just transports me to another world. The feeling of lightness during a jump is so blissful that it is almost unbearable.
I am a trained dancer in Bharatanatyam,which is a classical Indian dance form. Bharatanatyam involves very difficult technique which requires time and dedication. It also places great emphasis on facial expressions or 'abhinaya'. I am also slightly familiar with another Indian dance form called Mohiniattam. I have been a part of various dance recitals both in a group and as a soloist. I completed my Arangetram after three years of training. Arangetram means 'entering the stage' and it marks the transition in a dancer's life, from a student to a professional artist. It is generally a three hour solo performance which is performed among the family and other well-wishers .
Seven years of intense training in dance have instilled in me discipline and perseverance,a heightened awareness of the body and the soul and a faultless sense of rhythm. Dancing has given me the strength and endurance to keep pushing my limits and expanding my horizon every moment. It has been a source of joy and inspiration. Next to dancing, I like best to watch other people dance. The movements can be so mesmerizing and captivating that you forget who you are, where you are and all that exists is the dancer who continues to weave a web of magic out of thin air. The pleasure of watching a dancer execute of a perfect leap is so intense that it tingles your sensations and leaves you numb for a few seconds. I haven't ever experienced anything quite like dance ,it can be subtle and gentle, fierce and explosive or wacky and humorous.
Dancing is close to my heart , not only because of the joy I get from it but also because of what it has taught me.
[or]
Mr. Ravishankar has been teaching me physics for the past two years for the IITJEE-the most competitive engineering entrance examination in India. Apart from these classes he also conducts physics discussion classes every week or so in our school. Anyone interested can attend and there is no fixed syllabus,no fixed timings,no tests,just physics.
These classes have fondly been termed as the enrichment classes by the students. His classes are the most enjoyable and intellectually stimulating classes I have ever attended. His classes urge and persuade you to think. They tease your brain and make you come alive. Ravi's teaching methods are unique and effective. Every time we do a new topic ,an animated discussion takes place about how that particular branch of physics could have started. We brainstorm and try to put ourselves in the shoes of the scientists involved in that topic. I vividly remember the class we discussed about charges, about how charges might have been discovered ,possible experiments that might have been carried out at that time ,how their identification ,classification and quantization might have come about. This discussion stretched on to well over 90 minutes.
The discussions we have in class are so detailed that I have never found such thorough treatment of a topic in any other class or book. The most striking feature about these classes is that Ravi never directly answers our questions,he gives clues and hints and help us reach the answers ourselves. He treats every question equally and maintains that there is no such thing as a stupid question. If we think so ,then we stop learning because the primary step to learning is asking questions. Another unique feature about his classes is the way in which he tricks us into giving the wrong answers,thereby providing us with a valuable insight into our level of understanding and our grasp of the concept. Ravi constantly emphasizes the need to properly phrase a question ,to eliminate any way by which a person can elude answering it. He also doesn't try to portray more than what he knows. If he doesn't know the answer to a question he says so, tries his best to find out and also encourages us to find out. At the end of every topic he also lets us know about the doubts he has in that topic and the possible answers to it. He encourages us to think about them and let him know if we find a solution.
Attending his classes has not only strengthened my basics in physics concepts,it has also thought me importance of being skeptical and questioning everything. They have encouraged me to express my doubts and questions and hence participate actively in the class. Learning becomes a pleasure in these classes and time seems to fly. Even the preparatory tests that take place are a pleasure to write,they do not just test our problem-solving ability or our memory. Every question tests the theory of the concept and requires us to think deeply .Such tests do not require us to prepare heavily or cram a lot, just require us to understand.
The beauty of such learning is that it will stay with me forever. All the discussions stay etched in my mind and will continue to do so. Ravi is a constant source of inspiration for me to learn and keep learning .
I had always wanted to dance,ever since I was a kid. (change the order around)
Ever since I was a kid, I had always wanted to dance.
It was one of the few things I was definite about pursuing,one of the few things that I always knew I wanted to do. (restructuring a bit)
It was one of the few things I definitely wanted to pursue, one of the few things that I always knew I wanted to do.
Dance needn't have a (never condense the words - sorry i can't remember the term atm)
Dance does not need to have
When I dance the sense (comma needed)
When I dance, the sense
I experience gives me such an exhilarating high that it just transports me to another world. (i see what you're trying to explain here but you just worded it awkwardly)
just some things from the first paragraph
This second one is better, I think, but I really like the second half of the dance essay.
I have been proactive about mastering physics for the past two years in order to ace the IITJEE -- the most competitive engineering entrance examination in India. Apart from these classes, my teacher also conducts physics discussion classes every week or so in our school. Anyone interested can attend, and there is no fixed syllabus, no set schedule, no tests -- just physics.
Impressive!!!
These classes have been fondly termed as "the enrichment classes" by the students. They classes are the most enjoyable and intellectually stimulating classes I have ever attended.
You write very well! I just think you should be careful of little mistakes like extra spaces, as below:
If we think so, then we stop learning because the primary step to learning is asking questions.
You MUST show this essay to that teacher, because it will make him feel so good about his work!!!!!!!
