Hey,
Just some info about me I am a Greek-American who has lived in London all my life and am interested in applying to Purdue's mechanical engineering program. Anyway I would greatly appreciate constructive criticism on my essay. I feel like my essay sounds very "cheesy" and I'm pretty much asking for someone to tear it apart and scrutinise everything about it. Seriously feel free to say anything about it if it will actually help me out, and I won't get offended at all.
Essay Prompt: Describe how your Purdue education would support the attainment of your personal and/or professional goals
Everyday within our world millions of different processes are carried out, they range from mundane household chores to the structural planning of new buildings. Though, engineering does not dictate everything that occurs in our world, it is one of the fundamental aspects of everyday life that keeps the world as we know it running smoothly. A degree in engineering can give one the opportunity to help the world further develop through technology and innovation and a Purdue education can help me become a part of that.
Engineering presented itself as a possible career path through my passion in learning how machines worked. As a young boy I had a fascination with disassembling anything that I could get my hands on, and by examining the interior, the "guts" of an object so to speak I managed to learn a wealth of information about how that object worked this was especially true with computers. At the age of 13 was the peak of my interest with computers, through taking apart outdated Pc's the seemingly complex looking series of wires and flashing lights became second nature to me. I could distinguish what everything was, and more importantly the vital role they played in making a computer work.
Despite attending school in London for my entire life, Purdue has been a name well known to me; through word of mouth I've heard about it and taken it upon myself to learn as much as I possibly can. What initially drew me to Purdue was doing research about what goes on in the school, especially in the engineering department. Purdue has been consistently ranked as one of the top undergraduate mechanical engineering programs in the United States, making it a prestigious school. State of the art buildings such as Neil Armstrong Hall of Engineering that help students understand engineering and the vital role it plays in our world, through a vast of array of modern, up to date facilities. Simply put Purdue has what all the resources to help engineering students succeed, and even start projects of their own.
On an academic level Purdue is a very respectable institution, yet in addition to academics, the multitude or Purdue traditions and sports are what make the school what it is. Sports are of great importance to me, and being on my schools rowing team has undoubtedly taught me a lot about my self and others. The Big Ten athletics at Purdue are an important part of campus life, and in turn is something that is crucial to my college experience. Athletics in addition to academics are what help bind the community together. I want to have the thrill of sitting on the bleachers and being able to cheer on my home team, I want to be able to celebrate their wins and look past losses, it's all part of the college experience that I want to take with me into my working career.
I am fully aware that Purdue has one of the most demanding engineering courses in the nation, however I have the determination and rigor that enables me to work hard and stay on task. It would be an honor to be admitted to Purdue University and become one of the freshmen in the 2012 class. Purdue has the facilities and equipment that would help further my career and most importantly it would serve as the important stepping-stone into my new life as a future engineer.
Just some info about me I am a Greek-American who has lived in London all my life and am interested in applying to Purdue's mechanical engineering program. Anyway I would greatly appreciate constructive criticism on my essay. I feel like my essay sounds very "cheesy" and I'm pretty much asking for someone to tear it apart and scrutinise everything about it. Seriously feel free to say anything about it if it will actually help me out, and I won't get offended at all.
Essay Prompt: Describe how your Purdue education would support the attainment of your personal and/or professional goals
Everyday within our world millions of different processes are carried out, they range from mundane household chores to the structural planning of new buildings. Though, engineering does not dictate everything that occurs in our world, it is one of the fundamental aspects of everyday life that keeps the world as we know it running smoothly. A degree in engineering can give one the opportunity to help the world further develop through technology and innovation and a Purdue education can help me become a part of that.
Engineering presented itself as a possible career path through my passion in learning how machines worked. As a young boy I had a fascination with disassembling anything that I could get my hands on, and by examining the interior, the "guts" of an object so to speak I managed to learn a wealth of information about how that object worked this was especially true with computers. At the age of 13 was the peak of my interest with computers, through taking apart outdated Pc's the seemingly complex looking series of wires and flashing lights became second nature to me. I could distinguish what everything was, and more importantly the vital role they played in making a computer work.
Despite attending school in London for my entire life, Purdue has been a name well known to me; through word of mouth I've heard about it and taken it upon myself to learn as much as I possibly can. What initially drew me to Purdue was doing research about what goes on in the school, especially in the engineering department. Purdue has been consistently ranked as one of the top undergraduate mechanical engineering programs in the United States, making it a prestigious school. State of the art buildings such as Neil Armstrong Hall of Engineering that help students understand engineering and the vital role it plays in our world, through a vast of array of modern, up to date facilities. Simply put Purdue has what all the resources to help engineering students succeed, and even start projects of their own.
On an academic level Purdue is a very respectable institution, yet in addition to academics, the multitude or Purdue traditions and sports are what make the school what it is. Sports are of great importance to me, and being on my schools rowing team has undoubtedly taught me a lot about my self and others. The Big Ten athletics at Purdue are an important part of campus life, and in turn is something that is crucial to my college experience. Athletics in addition to academics are what help bind the community together. I want to have the thrill of sitting on the bleachers and being able to cheer on my home team, I want to be able to celebrate their wins and look past losses, it's all part of the college experience that I want to take with me into my working career.
I am fully aware that Purdue has one of the most demanding engineering courses in the nation, however I have the determination and rigor that enables me to work hard and stay on task. It would be an honor to be admitted to Purdue University and become one of the freshmen in the 2012 class. Purdue has the facilities and equipment that would help further my career and most importantly it would serve as the important stepping-stone into my new life as a future engineer.
