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Describe an experience from my life that demonstrates my character or helped shaped it


charade 1 / -  
Jan 12, 2017   #1
Can someone look this over and help make changes if it needs it. Thanks!!! :)

my education journey



When I saw the topic about "describing an experience from my life that demonstrated my character or helped shaped it." I knew I wanted to talk about my education journey.

When I was in the 3rd grade I had this fairy that would come to my classroom and take me to read to her, I remember thinking that I must be so special that she would chose me to read to her. I would walk out of the classroom with my head held high thinking she must really like me.

Well, 4th grade came around and I found out real quick by other kids that I was not a good reader.
We had this thing called a reading Lexile score. Well the girls that I had become good friends with had really high Lexile scores and mine was low. We would go to the library as a class and I would follow my friends to the books and they told me that I had to go where the baby books were because I was stupid.

That was the beginning of when I was realizing that I wasn't smart like my friends. By the time I got to middle school things didn't seem to get any better for me. I had intensive reading classes and my friends had honors. I can remember not wanting to share my schedule with my friends. I was so embarrassed that I wasn't good in school, because I tried so hard, I studied all the time and it was so frustrating that I couldn't get great grades like my friends.

High school came around and here I am still in intensive reading with regular classes, and still embarrassed and not wanting my friends to know.

I never gave up, I still studied really hard and tried my best at all time, but I knew I wasn't going to stop trying.

At the end of my sophomore year and still not passing the FCAT, my mom took me to a tutor/reading specialist.
It took 2 sessions and she approached my mom and asked her if she has ever had me evaluated for ADHD. My mom thought she was crazy because I wasn't hyper at all, the tutor told my mom that I was not focused one bit.

The tutor gave my mom the name and number to a licensed Neuropsychologist. I was tested for 4 hours a day for 4 days.
My parents and the Dr. sat down to review my diagnosis, she said that I was extremely ADHD with being impulsive, and that I had an eye sensory issue.

I can remember being nervous and hoping I wasn't in trouble for doing so bad on her test or that there wasn't something really wrong with me.

My parents sat me down to talk to me about everything and my mom couldn't stop crying because she felt like this was all her fault, that I had struggled for so long in school and she just didn't know that I was ADHD all this time, and no teacher ever said anything. I was thinking to myself the whole time she was crying and saying this, was "wait, I'm not stupid after all."

That summer I was put on medication and started tutoring at "Score to the Top" and I noticed a difference in myself right away, I felt so content and focused and I was excited to start my junior year of high school!

All my friends thought I was crazy because I couldn't wait for school to start, but they just didn't understand what its been like for me to have struggled for so long.

So My junior year was amazing!! I got straight A's and was able to drop my intensive reading class because I got a 24 on the reading portion of the ACT. I even received academic awards for my grades.

I have an excitement for school that I have never had before.
My senior year is just as amazing, I got my schedule and for the first time I was not embarrassed to share it with my friends. I am taking Honors Trigonometry and Aice English. I received my first report card yesterday and again, I have straight A's!!

I also took all my final exams and ended my 1st semester with straight A's as well. I am so proud of myself and everything that I have been able to accomplish.

I was also chosen to be apart of the AVID program at my school. The Avid program stand for: Advancement Via Individual Determination.
I help tutor and mentor underclassmen, I help them to stay organized and to have an excitement for high school and college, tutor them in any subject that they may be struggling in.

I enjoy it so much, I am able to help kids to love to learn and not judge them.
Because of my journey throughout school and from being judged and made fun of, it has taught me to never to judge others and to stand up for someone that may be different.

My experiences have given me the characteristics of being a compassionate person. I love to encourage others to always do their best and to never give up.

I have not let my diagnosis define me, I have embraced it and accepted it.
I hope that you can see my accomplishments and how I would make a great addition to your school.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Jan 12, 2017   #2
Charlene, congratulations on overcoming such a huge educational obstacle. Your story is truly inspirational and I can understand how these series of events would have helped to not only shape your character but also define it. However, the essay is running a bit too long. Doesn't this come with a maximum word count for you? You see, when you have the essay presented in such a detailed manner, the reviewer may not have the time to completely read your essay. So the tendency of the reviewer will be to skip to the end of the essay as soon as he can. Making the progression of your narrative irrelevant in his eyes. The best thing to do to resolve this possible problem will be to summarize the learning difficulties that you had and jump as soon as you can to your diagnosis and then summarize your experience after the diagnosis and then jump to your present situation at school , detailing your achievements and and retaining the sentiment of how you did not allow the illness to define you. That way, even if the reviewer skips around, he will get the highlight of your story each time.


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