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'Developing my portfolio' - Considering The Ohio State University Essay



Caitlin1095 1 / -  
Dec 8, 2009   #1
I know its long (300 word max)

I am considering The Ohio State University for many different reasons, mainly because of the excellent degree of education I know I can obtain there.

My hope is to go into architecture and I have heard many good things about the program your school offers. I also find the way in which entrance into the program, for undergraduates, is set up to be very appealing and a prime opportunity for someone like myself who may not have as much background in the area because of the limited resources at my own high school, but certainly possesses high interest in the subject. Unlike some other schools I have the opportunity to first develop a portfolio to be submitted for entrance into the program.

Unlike some, I appreciate that your establishment is one of the largest public universities and find it to be appealing. Coming from a small town in western Washington I would like to experience a diverse student body such as yours. Along with this I would like to live in a large city with a different culture than my own; I think I would succeed in this environment. With the large number of students at your school I also value the low faculty student ratio of 22:1. With such a high number of students I also think your high retention rate speaks to the quality of student life and education.

Finally perhaps the reason I became most interested in Ohio State is because of a relative. My half-brother's cousin attended Ohio State and went on to become a successful employee of a company in my own state, Boeing. Upon hearing I was considering the school, he got enthusiastic to say the least. He wanted me to come visit so we could watch a football game and talk about the school. Even now he wants to set me up with a tour, fly me back to Ohio, and do whatever else he could possibly do to help. The idea that a former student is still so enthusiastic about the school he went to years ago, and has such a desire to see other people go there, tells me this school is something to be proud of and a place anybody wanting to further their education should be lucky to attend.

OSU possesses the kind of qualities I've been looking for in my college search and I hope I possess the kind of qualities your school looks for in a student.

mstickel 5 / 21  
Dec 8, 2009   #2
well...for starters, it needs to be shorter. You don't want to annoy the reader of your essay by wasting their time. They have thousands of essays to read. I wouldn't address the reader so much. This essay is about you, not the school. The admissions officer knows what the school's programs are and their prestige; you don't have to tell them that again. Just eliminating that could bring your essay down to the necessary length.


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