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"Not die from thinking or learning" - International student



moealrob 3 / 13  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Nobody ever died because of thinking or learning. People who avoid learning, or abandon it, find no joy in life, find that life is drained dry. Leaning is a natural Pleasure, Which is Inborn and instinctive with me. Without learning, I think ...

Please review and check for grammar mistakes.

dp2493 2 / 4  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
Lear ning is a natural p leasure, w hich is i nborn and instinctive within me.
OP moealrob 3 / 13  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
Please any one help!!!
Planet_14 4 / 11  
Dec 30, 2010   #4
Well, I really can't give you any grammar check cause I'm not a good writer.
But your idea of the topic is good. The point is you need to show them what you think! what kind of idea you have then let the committee decide that you think thinking is more important.

To SHOW not to TELL.
computerjunkie - / 9  
Dec 30, 2010   #5
... Which is Inborn and instinctive with me.inborn and instinctive is slightly redundant

..."Knowledge is Wealth". Learningtry another word, perhaps education) keeps my mind open and active to receive all kinds of experience. It is truly a pleasure to me and I will continue on learningto learn the best way I can.

ok, the second sentence bothers me for some reason (those commas...>.<)
otherwise, i feel you can expand on this thought. its good though!
Heavenn07 5 / 12  
Dec 30, 2010   #6
This is a good essay, but I agree, try to show not tell.
Additionally, you capitalize many of the nouns that should just be in lower case.
I hope that helped.
OP moealrob 3 / 13  
Dec 30, 2010   #7
Nobody ever died because of thinking or learning! Indeed, people who avoid learning, or abandon it, find no joy in life. Moreover they find that life is drained dry. For me learning is a natural pleasure, which is inborn within me. Without learning, survival itself is threatened. Everybody knows that "Knowledge is Power" but I can say that "Knowledge is Wealth". Education keeps my mind open and active to receive all kinds of experience. It is truly a pleasure to me and I will continue to learn the best way I can.

This is a fixed version, try to help me support it and show not tell.
I will help you and take a look at your essays.


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