This is my first draft for UC essay prompt #1. I need some help! Any help would be good.
I from a school that is in the lowest 10% out of the nation. A school where you could see graffiti on the wall, thousands of old gums on the floor, and shorts hanging out from guys' sagging pants. It wasn't the most education friendly environment, but it helped me to shape my dreams and advance in my intellect.
At first, I was in different kind of environment. When I first came to America, my dad gained great help from a pastor, and the pastor let me and brother go to a private school that he established. So I was in a small, Christian school at first and stayed there for 6 years until I transferred to a school called De Anza high school at my sophomore year. It was a dramatic change for me. I went from memorizing Bible verses to memorizing new slangs. My imagination of public school was shattered. I expected to learn nothing from this school. But it proved me wrong after I came to a big realization.
De Anza wasn't the best school, but the school taught me that one could learn a valuable lesson anywhere as long as one takes the most out of what one has. While school is a big factor in education, I could make the education I want for myself. As long as I have thirst for knowledge and intellectual enthusiasm, I could go extra step to get education I need. So I started to join AP classes for the first time. I started to surround myself with the smartest people in De Anza. I began to challenge myself to better my future. I started form my own goals. This allowed me to become independent learner who is hungry for intellectual sustenance and looking to get the most out of college the next four years. I was able to grow through De Anza high school.
Through the environment of De Anza, I shaped my dream. The school showed me what kind of person I should be and what kind of future I should shape for myself. De Anza inspired me to study economics to get training necessary to understand how to improve my community and others like it. Communities where schools are bad, people are unemployed, and crimes are on rampage. My drive to learn allowed me to appreciate how many of the world's biggest problems can be solved through. De Anza also inspired me to become an influential person. In De Anza, I see kids who do not have any interest in going to college and kids who are struggling with their works due to low education they have been use to. So I always try to tell my peers my enthusiasm of going to college because college, to me, is one of biggest things I look forward to in my future. I also sometime tutor other students to help them. Through De Anza, I formed a goal of bringing an impact to the world to make it a better place for other people.
I from a school that is in the lowest 10% out of the nation. A school where you could see graffiti on the wall, thousands of old gums on the floor, and shorts hanging out from guys' sagging pants. It wasn't the most education friendly environment, but it helped me to shape my dreams and advance in my intellect.
At first, I was in different kind of environment. When I first came to America, my dad gained great help from a pastor, and the pastor let me and brother go to a private school that he established. So I was in a small, Christian school at first and stayed there for 6 years until I transferred to a school called De Anza high school at my sophomore year. It was a dramatic change for me. I went from memorizing Bible verses to memorizing new slangs. My imagination of public school was shattered. I expected to learn nothing from this school. But it proved me wrong after I came to a big realization.
De Anza wasn't the best school, but the school taught me that one could learn a valuable lesson anywhere as long as one takes the most out of what one has. While school is a big factor in education, I could make the education I want for myself. As long as I have thirst for knowledge and intellectual enthusiasm, I could go extra step to get education I need. So I started to join AP classes for the first time. I started to surround myself with the smartest people in De Anza. I began to challenge myself to better my future. I started form my own goals. This allowed me to become independent learner who is hungry for intellectual sustenance and looking to get the most out of college the next four years. I was able to grow through De Anza high school.
Through the environment of De Anza, I shaped my dream. The school showed me what kind of person I should be and what kind of future I should shape for myself. De Anza inspired me to study economics to get training necessary to understand how to improve my community and others like it. Communities where schools are bad, people are unemployed, and crimes are on rampage. My drive to learn allowed me to appreciate how many of the world's biggest problems can be solved through. De Anza also inspired me to become an influential person. In De Anza, I see kids who do not have any interest in going to college and kids who are struggling with their works due to low education they have been use to. So I always try to tell my peers my enthusiasm of going to college because college, to me, is one of biggest things I look forward to in my future. I also sometime tutor other students to help them. Through De Anza, I formed a goal of bringing an impact to the world to make it a better place for other people.