I discovered the core of strength within myself that survived all hurt. My childhood.

How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
250 WORDS OR LESS

Max Lerner once said, "The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt." This considerably describes my childhood. Growing up, I was the middle child. I always looked up to my older sister. I also had a younger brother who I wanted to be a good influence on so I always strived to lead by example. I grew up being taught to cherish the small things.

I grew up in a very poverty-stricken neighborhood in Miami, FL. Some would consider it the ghetto. I lost my father at a very young age. He was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street. I grew up in a single parent home with my mother and two siblings. My mother's main objective with raising us was to teach us the significance of education and to be thankful for all that we had. Even though my mother couldn't provide many materialistic items, she made sure we always spent quality time as a family. Every Friday night, we would partake in a game night.

In my neighborhood, I witnessed many of my fellow youth getting into trouble, dropping out of school, or even becoming incarcerated. The way I was raised molded me into who I am today by teaching me to work hard for what I want out of life and to never give up regardless of the circumstance.

This is very well written. Here is something I thought could help you as you tell your story. There are 5 sentences in the last paragraph. Move those four to the beginning of your essay after the sentence where you state, "this greatly describes my childhood." Then you can state, "However, I lived in a very poor neighborhood..."Then the last sentence in this paragraph, you would end with, "In my neighborhood, I saw..."

The next paragraph you discuss your mother's main goal in raising you. In the sentence where you discuss sent quality time, you have to change it to "spent quality time". The last sentence you can begin with: "The way my mother raised me, molded..." Also, end with ", regardless of my circumstances."

If you prefer not to change it, you can just make the changes in bold. You have done an excellent job describing your story. The suggestion I made just involves moving your sentences.

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I made the corrections and updated a few words to expand the vocabulary. Tell me what you think.

I had to rearrange you paragraphs again, because adding the other information about the neighborhood should not be placed towards the end of the essay. I tried to add everything in the essay. Here are some more changes:

After the sentence where you discuss being an example to your younger brother, you could begin a new sentence describing how you were raised. Here is an example: Initially, I had two parents who raised me. Yet, I lost my father at a very young age. [Add sentence about the drunk driver here].

Thus, my mother became a single parent raising three children. You can see that all of your sentences are there, they are just rearranged and there is an additional sentence in the beginning. The last sentence clarifies your story. Read this paragraph to see how you like it.

The next sentence I feel you could open by saying, "Unfortunately, my mother had to raise us..." , rather than opening with, "I grew up in" a very poverty stricken neighborhood. This gives your story a better explanation. [add the sentence that discusses how you witnessed fellow youth getting into trouble here]. [The sentence about your mother's main objective goes here]. The rest of the sentences stay the same, except change partake in a game night.

Your last sentence will read: I grew up being taught to cherish the small things.

I hope I have all of the details of your story correct. I'm sorry to make so many changes again. I feel that if it is important to you to add certain details, I wanted to not change the essence of you work. I'm hoping you will be happy with this final draft. This was well written. No worries!